Breaking the Status Quo
by SpyGirl1969
Summary: An old friend from Amanda’s past re-enters her life. Will Lee be too late in realizing his feelings for his partner? To be posted in four chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own nor am I affiliated with Warner Brothers and/or Shoot the Moon Productions

Disclaimer: I don't own nor am I affiliated with Warner Brothers and/or Shoot the Moon Productions. I am not making a cent from this work of fiction.

Timeline: Season 3 – some time after the events in Over the Limit.

Summary: An old friend from Amanda's past re-enters her life. The first part of the story is told from Amanda's POV (except for a small blurb); the second part of the story is told from Lee's POV.

Warning: AU/What if? If you're a canon purist, you won't like this.

Rated: PG-13

Author's Notes: A million heartfelt thanks to my amazing beta. This story would not be what it is without her supportive input. I thank her for always listening to my concerns, letting me sound off on ideas, catching all of my mistakes and goofs as well as making suggestions that made this a much better story.

**Breaking the Status Quo**

The clothes dryer buzzed at the exact second the kitchen timer began to ding insistently. Amanda King headed toward the oven, but stopped, turning around when the telephone rang. She rolled her eyes and hurried over to the kitchen phone. "Hello, hold on just a moment, please. I'll be right back," she said breathlessly, hastily setting the phone down and rushing over to the oven.

Turning the timer dial past zero, she opened the oven door, grabbing an oven mitt with her free hand. She pulled out the last batch of chocolate chip cookies and placed them on the rack to cool, then turned off the heat. The load of towels in the dryer could wait; there was nothing that would wrinkle if she left them for a few minutes. Hurrying back to the phone, she picked it up again.

"Hello. Sorry about that," she said cheerfully. In addition to rushing around, the day had been uncommonly warm for late summer. When she'd caught Dean's weather forecast on television, he had predicted that the high temperatures would last well into the evening. Having the oven on had made the house unbearably hot, and she was glad she had thrown on shorts and a T-shirt. Picking up a paper plate, she fanned herself vigorously.

"Amanda?" a familiar voice intoned.

"Yes, this is she," Amanda replied, trying to place the voice while at the same time curbing her automatic disappointment that the caller wasn't Lee Stetson.

At the thought of her partner, she felt a strange but familiar sensation. Glancing out her back door, she caught sight of Lee standing in her yard, a broad grin on his handsome face. He waved and beckoned her outside. She held up a finger and nodded, marveling at how everything seemed to happen at once. He nodded back but continued to watch her through the screen.

"You don't recognize my voice," the male caller teased. "I can't believe you've forgotten about me so completely. I'm crushed!"

"Oh, my gosh – Phillip? Phillip North?" She grinned into the phone, still fanning herself. "How _are_ you? I haven't heard from you in at least, what? A year?"

"At least," he admitted ruefully. "I've been busy, as always, with work and the girls and everything."

"How's Lisa?" Amanda asked.

Phillip hesitated briefly and then she heard him exhale loudly. He said, "She's fine, as far as I know. But... I might as well tell you that Lisa and I... we split up a while ago. Divorced."

"Oh, Phillip," Amanda said, shocked. "I'm so sorry. I hadn't heard a thing about it or I would never have... How're the girls taking it?"

"Well, Amy's stoic, as always, says it doesn't bother her at all, but of course it does. But Macy... she's really upset about it. The divorce was final just months ago. It was relatively amicable but the girls are taking it hard. Lisa's gone a lot, taking a lot of overseas assignments, so she misses half of her time with them. They feel abandoned, and I can't say I blame them," he finished with a sigh.

Amanda shook her head. "Gosh, I'm so sorry, Phillip. Lisa should've hooked up with Joe," she replied dryly, only half joking.

"Well, uh..." Phillip cleared his throat. "I kind of had the same thought, to be honest." He paused, and she waited for him to continue. "Listen, we're going to be coming to your neck of the woods this weekend and staying for several days. Aside from a bit of business, this is strictly a mini-vacation, an end of summer last hurrah. We'd love to see you and Dotty and the boys."

Amanda grinned, excited at the prospect of seeing her old friend. "Oh, Phillip, that would be great! We'd love to see all of you too. In fact, you could stay here, if you like. You and the girls could have the family room."

"Thanks for the offer, Amanda, but we're staying in a suite at the Arlington Inn, and the girls are excited about having their own room," he said with a laugh. "I've already got reservations and everything."

"Oh, how fun for them! Well, it's going to be wonderful to catch up. The kids haven't seen each other in ages, and we have so much to talk about," she said enthusiastically. "Mother will be thrilled that you called! Can I at least pick you all up at the airport and give you a ride to the Inn?"

He laughed again, and she was reminded that his laugh was one of the things that had attracted her to him years ago. She could hear the smile in his voice as he said, "You're sweet to offer, but we'll need a rental car and I have plans to pick one up at the airport."

"Sounds like you've thought of everything," Amanda commented, smiling. "Not that I'm surprised. Phillip the practical."

They talked for a few more minutes, making final arrangements. When she hung up, Amanda was still smiling and had completely forgotten about her back door-tapping visitor. The sound of his knock startled her. She jumped, finally remembering that Lee had been waiting outside for the entire conversation. With a mental shrug, she headed for the door and joined him outside.

"You forgot I was out here?" Lee asked, his tone incredulous. Amanda felt herself bristle and then flush as she saw his eyes flick down to her bare feet and then slowly travel back up the length of her legs. Finally, he met her eyes again.

Suddenly self-conscious over her attire, she smoothed the front of her T-shirt and crossed her arms, wishing desperately that it hadn't been hot enough to warrant shorts. Not that he hadn't seen her legs before, because he had – on one of their early assignments. She shook her head, irritated with her own thoughts. Why was she even thinking about this?

Lee cleared his throat significantly, snapping her attention back to the here and now. "Well, hello, Lee, how are you?" She wasn't about to apologize for taking a phone call while he waited outside. If he'd called her on the phone like a normal person, he wouldn't have had to wait. Of course, if he _were_ a normal person, he wouldn't be Lee.

"Expecting friends, huh?" he questioned.

It galled her that he had no problem skulking around outside her home, listening to her conversations. "Yes," she admitted curtly, not bothering to elaborate, which she knew was bound to aggravate him. For someone so tight-lipped about his own life, he sure wanted to know exactly what went on in hers!

He looked as if he wanted to pursue the matter but thought better of it. "Well, uh… anyway, I came by to see if you wanted to join me on some light surveillance tomorrow night." He shrugged, looking across her yard instead of directly at her. "Nothing serious or dangerous. Kind of boring, actually."

She cocked her head to one side and tried, unsuccessfully, to fight another flash of annoyance. "If it's not serious and it's not dangerous, do you really need someone with you?"

"Ah... no, not really," he admitted, as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and shrugged. "I just thought you might like to tag along, that's all."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I've already got more hours on my timesheet than I should, and you know Mr. Melrose doesn't like us to have extra hours unless it's absolutely necessary," she began.

"I'm sure I can convince Billy--"

Holding up a hand, she interrupted him gently. "Besides, I have a lot to do tomorrow since we have friends coming from out of town. Cleaning, cooking, baking--"

"You've already got your baking done," he pointed out, gesturing toward her kitchen, from which wafted the tantalizing scent of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.

She laughed, shaking her head. "Those are for Phillip and Jamie's baseball team," she explained. "Once in a while I like to bake cookies or muffins for them to take to their games. The kids are always ravenous."

"Oh," he replied, nonplussed. Shoving his hands into his pockets once again, he said, "Well, okay then. No big deal, I just thought I'd check and see if you were available."

"Well, thank you very much for thinking of me, Lee," she replied, patting his arm.

He turned to leave but spun back around and asked, "Amanda, I wanted to ask you -- were you upset with me yesterday?"

"Upset with you?" She tried to remember anything out of the ordinary about the previous day. "Not that I can recall. Why?"

He coughed, appearing ill at ease. "Well, uh... you seemed a little distant, that's all. And you didn't seem quite yourself when we went to lunch. When I tried to take your hand... to, uh, help you over those rough patches in the pavement, you pulled away. That's not like you, you know." Clearly embarrassed, he looked around her backyard, his gaze studiously casual.

"Oh, that," she brushed his concern aside. "Well, Lee, really… If Leslie were to run into us somewhere, she might not appreciate seeing us holding hands. Now that you have a girlfriend, you'd better start acting like it."

His face flushed as he frowned at her. Clearly he didn't share her line of reasoning. "Well, thanks for your opinion, but you never seemed to mind it before," he replied petulantly, raising his voice.

"Shh," she intoned, irritated that he assumed things would stay the same between them despite the fact that he now was in a steady relationship. Swallowing her jealousy over Lee's girlfriend, she said, "Keep your voice down. Mother'll hear you! Now listen. It's nothing personal, Lee; it's just respect for your relationship with Leslie."

For a moment, she was afraid he was going to shout at her again, but then he shrugged. "Fine. Sorry to bother you."

She shook her head. "You didn't bother--"

He was already backing away from her. Despite his obvious irritation with her, she saw him glance at her legs again. "Look, I'll see you later, Amanda."

"Bye, Lee."

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

Lee sat in the borrowed sedan, down the street from where he normally parked in Amanda's neighborhood. He hadn't dared use his own vehicle; Amanda would have spotted it in a heartbeat. He watched as a rental car parked in front of her house. A tall blonde man and two little girls about Phillip and Jamie's ages got out of the car and hugged Amanda, Dotty, Phillip and Jamie, who had come outside to greet them.

It looked like a picturesque family reunion, Lee thought sourly. It seemed that the man hugged Amanda a bit too closely and a bit too long to be called platonic, and he felt a twinge of… what? Jealousy? That was ridiculous. But if not, then what was it? 

Once the group had made its way into the house, he was sorely tempted to get out of the car and sneak up to one of Amanda's windows and peer inside. But that was far too risky; it was still broad daylight and would be for hours. At least they were staying in a hotel, and not at Amanda's house.

Desperately he tried to think of a way to find out more about the man and what his intentions toward Amanda might be, but had to resign himself to waiting. If he werecaught spying on Amanda in the middle of the day, she'd not only be livid – she'd never let him live it down.

In frustration, he started the sedan and headed back to the Agency. On the way, he tried to invent a plausible excuse for why he had checked out the vehicle in the first place, in case he had to explain his actions to Leatherneck.

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

"Are the kids settling down yet?" Amanda asked as Phillip came down the stairs. She had put away the last of the dinner dishes and was relaxing in the family room with a cup of hot tea. "They've been so hyper all night!"

He nodded, smiling as he sat down on the couch next to her. "The girls are exhausted from the flight. They're watching Phillip and Jamie play Nintendo."

"I'll bet you're pretty exhausted, too," Amanda said, handing him the cup of hot tea she'd fixed for him.

They talked for a while about what had been happening in their lives the last couple of years, and then Phillip brought up the subject of his divorce from Lisa. "We just... got to where we couldn't agree on anything," he confided, shaking his head in obvious regret. "We couldn't even agree on what we disagreed about. Lisa could think of nothing but being a globe-trotting photo-journalist. There was more to it than that, though. The truth is… we'd grown apart long before those problems started; we just hadn't realized it yet."

"Phillip," Amanda said softly, placing a hand on his forearm. "I'm really sorry it didn't work out. It was similar for Joe and me. He was gone so much in the early years of our marriage, and even more so once I got pregnant with Jamie. I knew where we were headed before we ever even mentioned divorce, but I fought it for a long time."

He glanced at her speculatively. "It could have been so different... If only they'd loved us like we loved them."

"I think they did, in their own ways," she replied in defense of her ex-husband and his ex-wife, whom she still considered a friend. "I think sometimes that Joe regrets the way things happened. But of course, it's too late now. There's no way I could ever... go back."

He studied her for a long moment, his gaze intense. "I could," he said enigmatically. He didn't explain further, but she got the feeling that he wasn't referring to Lisa.

Dotty came downstairs after a telephone call to her current gentleman friend, and Amanda and Phillip followed her into the kitchen, where she poured herself a glass of milk, laced with a splash of Galliano. "It really is wonderful to see you and the girls again, Phillip," Dotty said warmly. "I'm really sorry about Lisa."

"Thanks, Dotty," Phillip said with a small smile.

"Well, goodnight," she said. "I'm heading up to soak in the bath and read a few chapters of my new book, 'Waltz of the Heart'."

"Goodnight," Phillip and Amanda replied together.

"You must be pretty tired," Amanda said again, feeling awkward after he'd confided in her. Turning to Phillip, she slid her hands into her front jeans pockets. "I know flying always wears me out."

"Yeah," he admitted, glancing at his watch. "I confess I am. I'll tell the girls to get ready to leave. We should get back to the hotel, unpack and get to bed."

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

On Saturday, the two families visited the National Zoo. As they stood in line for lunch, an older woman who'd been observing them smiled at Amanda and Phillip and said, "You have four beautiful and very well-behaved children!"

Amanda blushed and stammered a bit until Phillip stepped in and simply told the woman, "Thank you."

Glancing at Amanda, he winked, causing her to blush again. She was grateful that the kids were intent on deciding whether they wanted hot dogs, pizza, or hamburgers.

Leaning over, Phillip whispered teasingly into her ear, "We must look like one big, happy family."

Amanda smiled but didn't reply, feeling confused and a bit nervous. Before she and Joe had gotten together, she and Phillip had dated for nearly a year. At their wedding, Phillip had confessed to Joe that he was still in love with Amanda. Joe hadn't told her for years, however, and she had assumed that it was all ancient history. They hadn't seen one another in so long, yet here he was hinting that he still had feelings for her.

Lee's face came unbidden into her mind. For a while she'd received mixed signals from him. Just when she would begin to think that they were taking their friendship to a new level, he would brush her off with a lecture about how they weren't involved. The few times he'd kissed her 'in the line of duty', he'd made sure to tell her afterward that what had happened between them was just that: in the line of duty. And now he had Leslie… Amanda had to admit she was jealous over the attractive and intelligent woman Lee was seeing.

His message was loud and clear. He might as well have said to her, "I'll never get involved with you in a romantic relationship, so don't even think about it." Well, she thought, that wasn't entirely a surprise. Lee was a single man who had never been married, nor had he ever wanted to. He relished his bachelor life, his upscale friends, the parties, the fancy cars, the designer suits.

No; she knew a relationship with Lee would never happen. She had been crazy to think it was even possible. And now with a girlfriend on the scene, a serious, normal, intelligent girlfriend, it was further out of the realm of possibility than ever. 

Try as she might, Amanda couldn't picture them together. What was more disturbing than anything was the physical similarity between Leslie and herself. But Leslie was more educated, more sophisticated, more world-wise, and didn't have children or a live-in mother. She was like Amanda, but she was all the things Amanda was not.

Well, it was high time to stop hoping for something that was never to be. Phillip was her friend; he'd felt something for her long ago, and apparently still did, to some degree. She knew him to be honest, hard-working, funny, kind, warm, and decent. He was also ruggedly handsome, even more so now than ever before.

And he was real. He wasn't a fantasy, nor was he unobtainable. They'd had similar upbringings and had many of the same friends growing up, having lived only blocks apart. Plus he had kids of his own.

The issue of children was likely a major one for Lee, if he ever had toyed with the idea of being more than Amanda's partner and friend. He was definitely not the father type.

It was time she faced the music and started looking at what was right here in front of her instead of what was dangling nearby, but always just out of reach. At the same time, it was a little early to be thinking along these lines, she chided herself; Phillip had just arrived yesterday!

"Penny for your thoughts," Phillip said, breaking into her reverie.

She smiled up at him, liking the way the sunshine added highlights of bronze to his hair. "I was just thinking how perfect this day is," she said. "And how glad I am that you and the girls are here."

He smiled back at her, and the smile reached his eyes, crinkling the corners adorably. "My sentiments exactly," he agreed.

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

Monday morning, when Amanda arrived at work, she noticed that Lee looked disheveled and exhausted as he stood talking with Billy and Francine. He was intently listening to what Billy had to say, but when she entered the Bullpen, his eyes found and held hers. Deciding that it was time she be the one to break eye contact for a change, she turned and walked briskly to her work area.

Arriving at her desk, she found a stack of filing that needed to be taken up to the vault in the Q-Bureau. Removing her cardigan and stashing her purse in a drawer, she picked up the files and headed toward the elevator.

She could feel Lee's gaze following her, but refused to let it give her the thrill it normally did. He was probably just placing a mental bet with himself that she would drop the files all over the floor before she reached the hallway. She hugged the stack closer to herself lest that should happen, smiling at and greeting co-workers as she passed out of the Bullpen and into the corridor.

Once up in the Q-Bureau, she sighed as she saw a tall stack of typing stuffed into a manila folder, on which Lee had hastily scrawled her name. Well, at least she knew what would comprise her day. Before settling down to work, she decided to call home and discuss dinner arrangements with her mother, since Phillip and the girls would be joining them. She was still on the phone when Lee came into the office and shut the door.

"Yes, I think that sounds great, Mother," she said, sitting on the side of Lee's desk and swinging one leg. She mouthed 'sorry' to Lee and glanced at her watch, holding up a finger to indicate she wouldn't be much longer. "A salad and red snapper with new potatoes… Yes, it's perfect. Phillip loves seafood… I think we have some fresh tomatoes in the garden that are ready to be picked, so they could go in the salad. Sure. Thanks, Mother."

Hanging up, she smiled brightly at Lee. "Good morning!" she said.

"Good morning," he replied, eyeing her quizzically. "What's got you so cheerful this morning?"

She shrugged, wondering at his odd question. "I'm always cheerful." She couldn't stop smiling, and picking up the 'to file' stack she'd brought from her desk downstairs, she headed into the vault.

"Listen, do you want to grab some lunch together today?" he asked casually. "Your choice, my treat."

Without stepping out of the vault, she replied, "Thanks, that's really sweet of you to offer, but sorry -- I can't."

"You _can't_?" he questioned, sounding surprised. "Why not?"

Mildly exasperated, she set down the folders she'd been sorting and poked her head through the door to look at him. "Because I can't, Lee, that's all. I have plans for lunch. Therefore I'm not available to have lunch with you."

He stared at her for a long moment, until she raised her eyebrows in question. Finally, he swallowed and asked, "Plans with who?"

"Whom," she corrected automatically. "And why do you need to know?"

Shrugging, he threw her a challenging look and said, "What's the big deal? Is it some national secret? You can't tell me because it's 'need to know'? Come on, Amanda, don't be ridiculous. It's not like you're having an affair." He chuckled, clearly amused at his own cleverness.

Outraged, she stepped out of the vault and crossed her arms. "Oh, and would that be so unbelievable? There's no way I could be meeting a man for lunch? Is that what you're implying, Lee?"

He held up his hands. "Whoa, calm down, Amanda. I was only--"

"Calm down?" she broke in, repeating his words incredulously. "_Calm down?_ Lee Stetson, you are the most aggravating man I have ever known!" She debated with herself for a moment if she should tell him the truth, but decided against it. It was none of his business.

Instead she shook her head and went back into the vault, still seething. From there, she called out before she could stop herself, "Some men _do _find me attractive and desirable, Lee, even if you don't." She regretted her words instantly. She sounded jealous, as if she were complaining that he wasn't attracted to her! It was just that he totally infuriated her whenever he expressed disbelief over the idea of a man wanting to get to know her.

Why was it so ludicrous to him that a man would be interested in dating her? She'd dated before – he knew about Dean and Alan Chamberlain, as well as others. Was she really so unattractive to _him_ that he just couldn't conceive of her being able to catch the attention of any other man?

Suddenly, Lee was right behind her. "Look, I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to imply anything like that... I just thought it was strange that you wouldn't tell me _whom_ your plans are with."

Amanda shivered. Chastising herself for being so affected by his nearness, she turned to face him, and he placed his hand on her shoulder. She took the liberty of removing it for him. Looking up into his face, she narrowed her eyes. "Lee, how many times have you had lunch plans and not told me whom they were with? Do I ever ask you whom you're meeting? No, I don't. Just because I'm not available to eat lunch with you doesn't give you the right to grill me over it!"

"Okay, okay!" he said, throwing his hands into the air in exaggerated surrender. "It's not that big of a deal anyway. Geez, I was just making conversation. It was idle curiosityat best. I'm sorry I asked."

He turned and left the vault, sitting back down noisily at his desk. She heard him pick up the phone and dial. A few seconds later, he said, a bit too loudly, "Leslie, hi! I just wanted to call and tell you how much I miss you. Yeah? You miss me, too, huh? Well how about you meet me for lunch today? You will? Great. Yeah, we haven't eaten there in a while, have we? Sounds good to me. I can't _wait_ to see you."

Amanda shook her head and rolled her eyes, putting away the last of the files. She only wished he'd repeated the name of the restaurant where he was meeting Leslie; it would have been nice to know which one to avoid. But she had already told Phillip where to meet her, so if Lee and Leslie showed up at the same place, there wasn't much she could do about it. She dismissed the possibility as being highly unlikely.

Closing the file drawer, she picked up the typing Lee had left for her and headed toward the door. With her palm on the handle, she stopped and looked at him over her shoulder. "I'll see you later, Lee," she said, then added with mock sincerity, "I'm _so_ glad you won't have to eat lunch all by yourself."

Closing the door firmly behind her, she headed downstairs, wondering if she would ever get her jealousy over Leslie under control, and fearing that the answer was a loud, resounding 'No!'

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

Amanda smoothed the sage linen tablecloth under her hands and straightened her silverware for the third time. She always grew fidgety whenever she was upset about something, and for the life of her, she couldn't keep her hands still now.

"So, how's work going today?" Phillip asked, reaching over to take one of her hands in his. Probably because she was driving him crazy playing with her place setting, she reasoned.

"Oh, Phillip, let's not talk about work. I mean, it's fine. Typing, filing, typing and more filing, but it's fine," she said, her voice sounding hollow to her own ears. And no wonder, for she was using the same fabrication with him that she always used with her mother. "Right now we're between documentaries, so there's a lot of boring paperwork that needs to be done."

Smiling, he tilted his head and said, "Ah. Well, if you don't want to talk about work, then what would you like to talk about?"

Before she could respond, she looked up in time to see Lee and Leslie walking into the restaurant together. "Oh, my gosh," she whispered faintly, closing her eyes and shaking her head in disbelief.

"What?" Phillip asked, glancing over his shoulder to see whom Amanda had caught sight of. "The handsome couple that just walked in the door? Do you know them?"

"Yep," she affirmed, plastering a smile on her face, annoyed at Phillip's assertion that Lee and Leslie made a handsome couple.

He grinned. "Well, that's great!" Phillip was extremely friendly and outgoing, and he seemed not to notice her discomfiture.

As the hostess led Lee and Leslie to a nearby table, Lee spotted Amanda and his eyebrows rose in obvious surprise. He headed over to where she and Phillip were seated, Leslie following at his side.

"Fancy meeting you here," he joked, but knowing him as she did, Amanda could hear the underlying tension in his voice. To Phillip, he said, "I don't believe we've met. Lee Stetson. Amanda and I work together. And this is Leslie O'Connor, my uh..."

"Girlfriend," Leslie supplied readily, her eyes darting to Amanda.

"Phillip North, an old friend of Amanda's," Phillip said, shaking Lee's offered hand. "Join us, please."

"Oh, no," Amanda said, suppressing the urge to protest more vehemently. With an apologetic smile at Leslie, she added, "I mean, it would be fine with me, but I'm sure _they _would much rather--"

"We'd love to," Lee cut in, sounding vindictive. He held out a chair for Leslie across from Amanda and then sat down between them. He had missed the look of apprehension that flashed across Leslie's face, but Amanda hadn't. "So," Lee said too jovially, "how long have you two known each other?"

"Since junior high," Phillip answered readily, oblivious to Lee's overly friendly demeanor. "We actually dated for about a year in college, but then Joe came along and snatched her away from me."

Amanda's eyes widened at this subterfuge. "Phillip North! You can't say that any more than I can say Lisa stole you away from me, and you know it," she said sternly, feeling her cheeks burn.

"Yeah, well," he gave her a sheepish grin and shrugged. "At any rate, we see now where those two got us, don't we?"

Knowing her face was pink with embarrassment Amanda picked up her menu and pretended to study it. "Yes. I've got Phillip and Jamie, and you've got Amy and Macy," she reminded him in an admonishing tone. "Besides, I'm sure Lee and Leslie would rather not hear about our past, Phillip."

He cast an apologetic glance her way, chastened. "Yeah, sorry. I'm sure you're right." Glancing at Lee, he changed the subject. "So how did _you _two meet?"

Leslie jumped in, relating the story in great detail, sure to say more than once how romantic it was and how dashing Lee had been. "He swept me right off my feet; it was just like a fairy tale," she gushed, covering Lee's hand with her own. He smiled, but looked as though he wholeheartedly wished he hadn't agreed to join Amanda and Phillip for lunch.

Amanda forced herself to smile politely at Leslie. "How nice for you," she said and then added, with a sideways glance at Lee, "And Lee himself told me recently how perfect you are for him, Leslie. Didn't you, Lee?"

Lee's eyes had widened at Amanda's words and his mouth gaped slightly. "Uh... yeah, I think I may have said something to that effect." He frowned slightly at Amanda but she pretended not to notice, picking up her water glass for a sip.

Leslie grinned at him, having missed his chagrined expression. "Oh, _Lee_... "

The waiter appeared and took their orders, then retreated again with the promise of a basket of warm bread and butter when he returned.

"That's great," Phillip said, "What you two have is really special. Some people take a long time to find a relationship like that, don't they? But as long as you find what you're looking for eventually, it's all worth it in the end." Reaching into Amanda's lap, he placed his hand over hers and held it there. He smiled at her and said, "Some people just look for it in the wrong places for too long."

Leslie nodded eagerly, and it was clear that she was relaxing a bit, probably picking up on Phillip's proprietary attitude toward Amanda. "That's so true. I know _I_ sure did," she said, and went on to relate a humorous story about one of her previous relationships.

It wasn't as uncomfortable or awkward a meal as Amanda had first thought it would be, but she could tell that Lee was not enjoying himself at all. He had only himself to blame; she'd given him a perfect out, but he had stubbornly ignored it.

Amanda was perplexed as she watched Lee with his 'perfect' girlfriend. Every time Leslie tried to take Lee's hand, he found a reason to pull it away, and she saw him studying Phillip at every opportunity. He also subtly grilled Phillip whenever he could, though Phillip didn't seem to notice or mind.

Unlike the other men Amanda had gotten involved with since meeting Lee, Phillip was no stranger; she knew there was nothing unsavory Lee could uncover about him, no matter how deeply he dug.

When they were ready to leave, Lee and Phillip shook hands again and the four walked out together into the sunshine. "It was very nice meeting both of you," Phillip said warmly. "We should get together again before I head home, maybe for dinner."

Leslie looked at Lee and then said, "Why don't you both come over to Lee's apartment for dinner tomorrow night? I'll cook."

Amanda was surprised that Leslie had made such a bold invitation without talking to Lee first, but not as surprised as Lee apparently was. She saw him glance at Leslie in consternation, a frown upon his face. He recovered quickly, however, and said weakly, "Of course."

Amanda gave Lee a pointed look that let him know she knew exactly what he was thinking. To Leslie, she smiled and said, "Thanks so much, Leslie, but that won't be possible. My mother has a date tomorrow night, and we can't leave the kids home alone. Besides, I'm sure Phillip wants to spend time with his girls. After all, they're on vacation together."

Before Leslie could open her mouth, a very relieved-looking Lee said, "We understand. Too bad, though. Maybe some other time?" Not giving them the chance to reply, he said, "Goodbye. Amanda, I'll see you back at the office." He put an arm around Leslie and ushered her away.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the afternoon passed quietly enough

The rest of the afternoon passed quietly enough. When Amanda got back to her desk, Lee was coming out of Billy's office. He avoided even a glance in her direction. She watched as he met up with Francine. After a moment, the two of them took off together on an assignment. She was relieved that he hadn't asked her to go with him.

At the end of the day, Amanda tidied her desk and headed for the elevator. As she stepped in from one side, Lee stepped in from the other set of doors. They avoided one another's eyes and remained silent until they arrived at the second floor and walked down the hallway together. As Lee unlocked the door to the Q-Bureau, he laughed, but it sounded forced.

"So I guess I got to have lunch with you after all," he said, his manner off-handed.

Nodding, she acknowledged him briefly. "Yep."

"Phillip North." He said the name thoughtfully as he held open the door for her. "Funny," he said awkwardly. "North… West… I, uh… I don't remember you talking about him before."

"I probably didn't," she said evasively.

He followed her into the office, watching as she set the files down on the corner of his desk where they'd been that morning. "Why not?" Clearly he wasn't about to let the matter drop.

She sighed wearily, wishing she'd told Phillip to meet her somewhere else. "Lee, have you mentioned everyone you've ever known to me? If I were to meet an old girlfriend of yours, would I remember hearing her mentioned by you?"

Ignoring the logic of her question, he exclaimed, "Aha! So you admit you were involved with him at one time!"

"'Aha' nothing, Sherlock," she replied sarcastically. "Yes. Phillip and I dated before Joe and I dated. He told you that much himself, and there's really nothing more to it than that."

"So what was the big deal this morning, that you couldn't tell me you were having lunch with an old boyfriend?" he hounded.

Fed up, she turned on him, her brown eyes flashing. "Okay, Lee. Since you seem to feel entitled to know all there is to know, _yes_. Phillip and I dated in college. Joe and I named our first child after him, which you might have already guessed. He called last week and said he'd be in town. I get the feeling he may be interested in a relationship with me. I know that's an impossible concept for you to grasp, but you'll just have to suspend your disbelief."

"Amanda," Lee attempted to break in.

She held up a hand to stop him and continued. "I think that's enough for now, but if I know you, you'll run a background check on him. Well, go ahead. You have my blessing, because this time I know you're not going to come sniveling around my backyard with bad news after you've done it. Now. As to this ridiculous amount of typing you saved for me, it's done and you're welcome. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go downstairs, get my things and go home." She brushed past him, only to turn around and add, "Oh, and if you know what's good for you, Scarecrow, you'll stay away from me for the next couple of days. _Far_ away."

Out of breath from her diatribe, she slammed the door on her way out of the Q-Bureau, ignoring Lee's shout of, "Wait... A-man-da!"

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

Phillip and Amanda sat on the sofa in the family room after dinner, talking softly and sipping wine. The kids were outside shooting hoops; their shouts and hoots could be heard, as well as Dotty's applause and encouragement.

"I owe you an apology," Phillip said, tracing Amanda's knuckles with a fingertip.

She looked at him askance. "Why?"

"I knew as soon as I made the offer today that you'd rather I hadn't asked Lee and Leslie to join us. I should have known that the last person you'd want to have lunch with would be a co-worker," he said regretfully.

She brushed it off; what was done was done, and he'd only been trying to be friendly. "Don't feel bad. It's just that... I don't know Leslie all that well, and Lee and I don't really socialize much outside of work," 'anymore', she added silently.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" he asked, his fingers trailing along her forearm now, sending shivers up and down her entire arm, but at the same time, making her somewhat uncomfortable.

"Of course you can," she agreed readily.

"Does Lee... have you two ever... been more than co-workers?"

She looked at him, but he was looking away from her face, as if embarrassed by his own question. Licking her lips, she sighed. "Lee and I are friends, yes. But no more than that. He's a little... over-protective of me at times, that's all. Especially where men are concerned."

Phillip frowned. "But Amanda…" He shook his head, as if perplexed. "I saw the way he was watching you, despite his supposedly 'perfect' girlfriend sitting right there. Men don't... well, unless they're your brother, they're not protective of you when it comes to men. The way he acts, it's more like he's jealous."

She laughed nervously. "Oh, Phillip, I think you're misreading the whole situation. If you knew him better, you'd know what I'm saying is true. In fact, he uses every chance he gets to tell me we're nothing but co-workers and friends, just in case I might get any ideas. When you think about it, it's pretty conceited of him."

He nodded his agreement but looked uneasy. "It sure seems like it, yeah," he replied. "He must be in denial or something. I'm a pretty good judge of character. So... you're not... attracted to him? At all?"

She sighed. Where had this come from? The last thing she'd expected to discuss with Phillip was her relationship with or feelings for Lee. "I'll be honest. For a while, I guess I did kind of hope that Lee and I would... become more than friends. But I've realized that it's never going to happen. We're two very different people. He's temperamental and impatient with me at times. In fact, when I first started working with him, I overheard him and another co-worker joking together about me, calling me 'suburban frump'."

Phillip's eyes narrowed in disgust. "That's absolutely ridiculous, not to mention unconscionably rude! I wish I'd known that today; I would've--"

"No," she interrupted firmly, "you wouldn't. The last thing I need is for the two of you to end up hating one another. That was a long time ago, and he probably doesn't even remember it. I only told you so you'd realize how far-fetched your theory of his jealousy is."

Blowing out a breath, he nodded. "Sorry, point taken. It just annoys me, Amanda. You're beautiful. You're stunning, actually. You always have been, but you're even more so now. Any man who can't see that is a fool."

"Well, you're biased, Phillip," she began. What sounded like a snapped twig caught her attention, and she glanced nervously toward the window. Lee wasn't out there again, was he? When she didn't hear anything else, she shook it off, blaming her overactive imagination.

"Besides," he went on, warming to his theory, "for someone who claims not to be attracted to you, he certainly picked someone who's pretty damn similar to you."

"No." She shook her head. "We're not that similar, not really."

He nodded. "You're right. You're far more beautiful."

"Phillip," she whispered, blushing.

"Don't sell yourself short, Amanda. I'm sure you didn't notice, but I saw several men give you appreciative second glances today. You don't notice it because you're too modest. I'm a man. Trust me on this."

She couldn't think of anything to say, and she wouldn't have gotten the chance to speak anyway. Phillip's eyes had focused on her lips, and he moved forward now, his intent clear.

Unable to move though she knew she should, she waited. When his lips met hers, she felt a slight jolt. His kiss was soft at first, but it quickly became more intense as she hesitantly kissed him back. Why did this feel so _wrong_? He wrapped his arms around her.

They broke apart at the sound of Dotty coming into the house. "Oh, sorry!" she exclaimed. "I didn't mean to interrupt you two. Those kids could play basketball all night, but I'm pooped out just from watching!"

Amanda stood hastily, but Phillip kept hold of her hand. "That's all right, Mother, we were just talking," she said, with a smile at Phillip.

"Yes, dear, I saw that," Dotty said pleasantly, making her way up the stairs.

"Goodnight, Dotty," Phillip said, amused.

She smiled at them both. "Goodnight, children."

Phillip sighed. "I guess I should gather up those girls and head back to the hotel. They could play all night, but we'd have some cranky kids on our hands in the morning if we let them."

"Yeah," she agreed. "You're right about that."

They headed for the back door together.

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

Amanda was finding it difficult to keep her mind on the job at hand. Lee had very curtly briefed her before they left the Agency. She had tried to pay attention, but with his unpleasant demeanor and her uneasiness over the night before running through her mind, it had been a struggle to listen. At least he'd said it was an easy assignment -- light work and very unlikely to turn into anything serious. A Mr. Boris Zielinski was to hand off a microdot to Lee.

They were to pose as a newlywed couple on their honeymoon, which had seemed preposterous to Amanda. "Who honeymoons in Washington, DC?" she had asked, but Lee had responded with some irritation that the scenario was set and that it was how Zielinski would recognize them.

They walked along, holding hands, until they reached the drop location. Lee had been reticent and withdrawn on the ride over. Now, without warning, he encircled Amanda in his arms and leaned into her, pinning her against the wall of the Lincoln Monument. His lips grazed her neck, and he began softly trailing kisses up to her ear. His husky whisper sent a pleasant shiver down her spine as he said, "I don't see Zielinski just yet."

It took a moment for Amanda to clear her mind somewhat and remember that they were posing as newlyweds. Despite the sensations Lee was inducing, she forced herself to focus on the task at hand. Taking a quick look around, she was relieved to see that not only was Zielinski not there, not many other people were around either. Those milling about were paying scant attention to them. Playing along, she turned her head slightly toward him and replied as evenly as she was able, "Well, I hope he--"

Gasping, she felt his tongue slide out and tickle her earlobe, then take it between his teeth, his breath warm in her ear. She had to grasp his arms as her knees started to buckle. What was he doing? And _why_? Surely this wasn't necessary for their cover – who could possibly see what he was doing to her with his tongue and teeth?

Distractedly and belatedly, he murmured, "What? What'd you say?" His voice was thick and sent Amanda's already wayward thoughts into dangerous territory.

Desperately trying to regain control of herself, she started to repeat her question, but she was deterred when Lee's lips and tongue made their lazy way along her jaw. His body was trembling against hers despite the warm late summer day.

"Oh my gosh," she managed, her voice raspy. No sooner had she recovered from the shock of his tongue snaking along her jaw when his lips crushed hungrily down upon hers. Heat coursed through her body and she tried to keep her thoughts coherent.

He certainly knew how to kiss like a newly married man, she mused, trying desperately not to enjoy the intimacy and telling herself over and over again that they were only doing their job. It sure didn't seem that Lee was telling _himself_ it was just their job, however.

Lee pulled back just slightly for a moment, looking at her as though bewildered. His face was flushed, his hazel eyes darkened to nearly black. His breathing was labored as he stared at her, making her feel uncomfortable. Amanda's pulse was racing; she needed some space. She began to move away from the wall but he leaned closer into her, pinning her against the wall once more, and renewed the kiss. It felt desperate, hungry. She wondered fleetingly whether this was how he kissed Leslie. Suddenly his tongue invaded her mouth, and she was no longer capable of rational thought.

Feeling her knees grow weaker still and her brain turn into mush, she wrapped her arms around him to steady herself, hearing a small groan escape her own lips and vibrate against his. His immediate reaction was to press his body even closer to hers, his arms like bands of steel around her waist.

As much as her mind struggled to warn her that he would later deny that this meant anything, it was to no avail. This was where she belonged. She fitted against Lee perfectly; could he feel it, too? It sure seemed as though he felt it, the way he was pressing into her. No other man had ever elicited such heady intoxication in her before – and this was only a kiss!

The surreal moment was shattered all too soon when a short, bearded man in a navy blue suit and matching tie tapped Lee's shoulder, clearing his throat. Amanda was awash with relief as Lee pulled away from her.

"I just love to see newlywed couples, so in love, so full of life," said the man with a lilting Russian accent. His blue eyes sparkled merrily at them.

Acknowledging the man with the pre-assigned response, Lee said, his voice wavering slightly, "W-we were married two days ago. Is it really that obvious?"

The man chuckled, seeming genuinely amused, and extended his hand. Lee accepted it, palming the microdot. "Have a good honeymoon," Zielinski replied, bowing slightly and walking away, humming softly to himself.

"So, that's it? We're all finished?" Amanda asked hopefully, putting her fingers up to her kiss-swollen, tingling lips. She had taken the few seconds during the encounter to calm her beating heart and remind herself again that it was all part of the cover.

Lee stared at her for a few seconds and then moved closer, pinning her against the wall a third time. He seemed to enjoy trapping her, and she had to admit she rather liked it. "Not quite," he breathed, lowering his lips to hers again. He kissed her long and hard and then moved his lips down to her neck, trailing tiny kisses to her collar bone. Then, somewhat reluctantly, he pulled away and took her hand. As they walked away from the monument, he gave her a crooked grin and whispered, "To keep up the cover."

"Yes, of course, the cover," Amanda managed, feeling her knees wobble as she hurried alongside him. A few nearby people smiled indulgently, most likely assuming the honeymooning couple was rushing back to their room.

They returned to the Agency, each lost in their own thoughts. Amanda accompanied Lee up to the Q-Bureau.There was very little conversation between them the rest of the afternoon, but Amanda felt Lee's eyes on her several times as she worked. She forced herself not to look up at him, confused and disconcerted that he was watching her.

Finally, she stood and stretched, glanced at her watch and picked up her purse. Before she left, though, she had something she needed to say, or this awkwardness between them would stretch on for days.

"I know why you've been so quiet this afternoon, Lee," she said softly.

He looked up, his eyes wary. "You do?"

She nodded, moving over to sit on the edge of his desk. "And I want you to know that you don't have to worry at all; I completely understand."

"You understand." He shook his head slowly. "Understand what?" he asked with a slight frown.

"That what happened today on the assignment was... well, you know. Part of the assignment. I know you worry about me getting the wrong impression, and I just want you to know that _I_ know we were just doing our job, and that it was nothing more. We were simply playing a cover, and that cover happened to be a newlywed couple. Don't worry that I read anything into it, because I didn't."

"Oh," he replied, seeming taken aback. "Well, that's good then. I wondered, you know, if you thought…" He trailed off as though unsure of what to say.

She forced herself to laugh. "Honestly, Lee, by now we've played that old act into the ground, haven't we? Surely you don't think I took it as anything other than part of the job!"

He gaped at her for a long moment and then gave her a weak smile. "Into the ground, yeah. Right, right. I'm glad that you understand it's just part of the cover; I... I feel a lot better."

"Well, I'm glad," she said cheerfully, hopping off his desk and heading for the door.

"Besides," he said, the edge in his voice stopping her in her tracks. "I'm sure that as far as kissing goes, you'd much rather do _that_ with your good friend, Phillip North."

She froze. He'd been outside her house last night, looking in. He'd watched her and Phillip together, like some kind of voyeur. Anger and indignation bubbled up and she tried her best to swallow it down, but it wasn't possible.

When she turned around, she saw the apprehension in his faceand knew that he was wishing he could take his words back. His discomfort didn't soften her anger; he'd practically confessed to watching her, and now he would pay for what he'd done.

"You have absolutely no right to spy on me, Lee Stetson," she ground out. "I can't even believe you would sink so low as to do what you obviously did last night. To come to my house for no reason other than to slink around and spy--"

"Wait just a damn minute!" he cut in loudly, standing up and striding over to stand face to face. "You don't know that I was there last night; I said what I did based strictly on an assumption--"

Shaking her head, she said levelly, "Oh, no you didn't. You were there, all right. I can tell by the expression on your face. I know you, Lee Stetson, and I had a feeling that--"

"Oh, you think you know me, do you?" he spat out, narrowing his eyes. "I don't think so. Not as well as Leslie knows me. Don't you even _think _you know me half as well as she does!"

Amanda stared at him, hurt by the venom in his voice more than his words. "Oh, you think she knows you better than I do? I've known you for almost three years. She's known you for… what – three _weeks_? Are you telling me that because she's shared your bed, she knows you better? Give me a break!" She was livid, and couldn't seem to stop the tirade once it had begun. "Not that I'd ever even _want_ to know you in that way. If that's what it takes to truly know you, Lee Stetson, then you're not worth knowing!"

He reacted as if she'd slapped him. He exhaled sharply and looked her in the eye. "Well, I'll keep that in mind. I never knew you were so repulsed by me, but it's good to know."

"Lee," she said, her voice shaking as she tried to calm down. "I'm not repulsed by you. It's just that..."

"It hardly matters." He strode over to the door and opened it, and Francine nearly toppled in. Ignoring her, he glared at Amanda. "You'd better get home."

Wordlessly, she rushed past Francine without acknowledging her. As she rushed down the hall toward the elevator, she heard Francine say, "Well, I guess you can't win 'em all, Scarecrow. Although I would have thought Amanda would have been an easy conquest."

"Shut up, Francine," Lee snarled before pushing the blonde out of the office and slamming the door shut.

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

Tuesday evening dragged on and on for Amanda. Phillip had taken all four kids to Goofy Golf but she had begged off, claiming a headache, which was partially true. Her mother was out to dinner with a friend, so Amanda had some time to herself. Alone in the abnormally quiet house, she was able to reflect on her argument with Lee. She couldn't understand how it had turned so ugly so fast.

One thing she knew for certain was that Lee wouldn't be tapping on her window tonight, and maybe never again, after the way she'd reacted to finding out he'd been there last night. She hadn't been able to help it; her sense of privacy had been horribly violated. What had he thought he was doing, standing there watching her with Phillip? Why did he think she was his business? At what point would he have considered what he was doing wrong? And how much, if anything, had he heard?

A thought came to her, and she tried to squash it down but was unable. He was jealous. There was no other rational, justifiable explanation for his behavior, or he would have told her what it was. But if he werejealous, that meant he cared for her. And if he cared for her, what was he doing with Leslie? She couldn't – no, she wouldn't sit around waiting until he made up his mind about what he wanted and whom he wanted.

Or perhaps he was simply fighting his feelings -- whatever they were -- because of the differences between them, and channelinghis energy into his relationship with Leslie. If that were the case, she felt bad for Leslie. Thinking back to his startlingly intimate behavior at the Mall, pressing his entire body against her and kissing her as passionately as he had... She felt herself growing warm and her breath becoming shallow at the memory. Yes, he certainly knew what he was doing. When he had first started kissing her, she'd felt nothing but shock. Then her mind registered what he was doing, and she tried firmly telling herself it was just for their cover. Nevertheless, he was kissing her so passionately that she couldn't help but respond to him and kiss him back. She had known she shouldn't let herself get so involved, but found that she couldn't stop herself.

She wondered if he had used their cover to release some of the tension that had built up as a result of his keeping his attraction to her at bay, but then she brushed off the notion as ridiculous. Who was she trying to kid? There had to be another explanation for his behavior.

Finally, she gave up her ruminations as she heard the car pull into the driveway. Suddenly not in the mood to face Phillip, she hurried up the stairs before he and the kids got into the house. At least he was getting the boys back at a decent hour; they slept forever in the mornings if they didn't get enough sleep.

As she closed her bedroom door, she heard the kids talking excitedly about what an 'awesome' and 'rad' time they'd had at Goofy Golf. She smiled as she heard Phillip teasingly say in an exaggerated 'surfer voice', "Yeah, it was like, radical to the max, dudes!" He really was wonderful with kids, she told herself, not for the first time.

Yes, Phillip was wonderful in so many respects. The pros far outweighed the cons. He had children of his own and loved Phillip and Jamie as if they were his. She had known him for a long time, and they had a lot in common. He was clearly interested in her and had mentioned a willingness to relocate to Virginia. Her mother loved him. The boys loved him. He made no pretense of his intentions whatsoever, which was a refreshing change. What did it matter that he didn't make her go weak in the knees?

Maybe the simplest solution for everyone concerned would be for her to stop working with Lee. She wished things could be different, but it didn't appear that they were going to be able to work things through this time. Besides, it wouldn't be fair to Phillip, if her relationship with him continued to progress.As nervous as the thought made her feel, it might be best if she broke all hopeful ties to Lee in that regard and pinned them on another man.

It also wasn't fair to Leslie, but Amanda found herself focusing on Leslie the least. She just couldn't bring herself to like the woman, no matter how she tried. Right now, Leslie was probably at Lee's apartment, sharing a late night bottle of wine.

Most of all, it wasn't fair to herself or to Lee. Obviously there was some level of attraction to one another, even if it was purely physical on Lee's part, but it was never going to work out. Amanda could see that just from Lee's reticence and his dating someone similar to her in so many ways.

So why, in light of all these reasons to give up on Lee once and for all, was she reliving a kiss that had occurred in the line of duty? Despite her best efforts, she couldn't get the memory of his touch out of her mind, the way he had seemed almost frantic as he kissed her, the feel of his warm, solid body pressing her against the cold stone wall of the monument.

Amanda heard Phillip and the girls leaving, heard him telling Phillip and Jamie to tell her he'd see her tomorrow. Sighing, she made her way to the boys' room to say goodnight.

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

The next day, Amanda managed to avoid even seeing Lee until late in the afternoon. Around three o'clock, however, he caught her in the Q-Bureau, leaving him some case notes to sign off on before she took them down to Mr. Melrose the next day.

She spun around to face him and cursed her knees when just the sight of him caused them to buckle. Arching her back slightly for support, she moved to pass him, saying tersely, "I'm sorry; I didn't know you were back. I'll just get out of your way."

Sighing, he reached out and gently took hold of her arm. "You're not in my way, Amanda."

Turning her head, she met his gaze. "Oh, I think I am. In more ways than you're willing to admit," she said wryly. "Listen, Lee," she went on at his confused expression, pulling her arm free of his grasp. She took a step back to put some distance between them. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I'm going to be doing more over the next few days I have off – Mr. Melrose approved my request. I'm considering asking him to assign me to someone else or to a different department – at least temporarily."

She watched, surprised to see his eyes widen in near-panic. "What?" he sputtered. "Why?"

"We both know why, Lee," she said softly. In a way, his reaction was gratifying. At least he wasn't jumping at the chance to be rid of her. "We're having more and more arguments like the one we had yesterday, and it's going to ruin what's left of our friendship. It's… it's for the best. It really is."

"Listen, if this is about what happened yesterday, I'm sorry--" he began.

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter, Lee. You didn't just say those things; you must have meant them, at least to some degree. What happened yesterday is just one example of the way things have been between us lately. We need to make some kind of a change. The simplest one is to... avoid one another for a while – give each other some space. Maybe for a long while."

He stared at her, speechless. Finally, he took a step back. "Amanda, why are you doing this? Is it because I..." His eyes flicked down to her lips, then back up to her eyes. He appeared to change his mind about whatever he'd been about to say. His features hardened into a mask of cold indifference. "Well. If that's what you want."

"It's not so much what I_ want_, Lee. It's what I need. It's what _you_ need."

"Amanda, _I_ need--" he stopped himself. His features softened somewhat as he stared at her. She stood her ground, though, not allowing herself to relent. Lee swallowed hard and his eyes glazed over as he repeated, "I need..." Then his hazel eyes hardened and his jaw clenched. "I think you're right. It's what I need, too."

She regarded him silently for a moment. Finally, she nodded sadly. "Well, then," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I'm glad you agree."

He started to speak but only nodded, moving away from the door to allow her through. She glanced at him and noted that his jaw was still set stubbornly and that his eyes followed her as she passed.

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

"I'm sorry you had a rough day," Phillip said, rubbing her shoulders later that evening. They were sitting outside while the kids played a rousing game of _Life_ in the dining room, eating hot fudge sundaes they'd made for themselves.

She tried to shrug it off. "Oh, well, it comes with the territory." Her mind cast back to that afternoon.

After her argument with Lee, Amanda had gone downstairs to speak with Billy, who listened with consternation to her watered-down explanation of why she wished to be transferred and no longer work with Lee Stetson. "Please don't say anything to Lee, Sir," she had pleaded. "It's a mutual decision, not heat of the moment." That wasn't entirely true, and Billy had seen right through it.

"Amanda, forgive my saying so," Mr. Melrose had said wryly,"but when it comes to you, it's _always_ heat of the moment for Lee."

She'd blushed, hoping he didn't realize just how ironically true his words were. "Anyway, we did discuss it and we both feel the same way. He wants it as much as I do."

"I seriously doubt that," Billy had told her. "Scarecrow can be a damn fool, especially where you're concerned. Look. You're off for the next four days anyway. Take that time to really think things over – even if you don't feel like you need to – and if you still feel as strongly by Monday, we'll talk again. Lee has an assignment tomorrow that I normally would have sent you on. I'll send Fielder instead, or Francine; that'll give him time to cool off. That's all I'm going to offer right now. You two go through things like this a little too often for me to give it too much credence this time."

"Yes, Sir," she'd agreed, looking down at her hands. What choice did she have but to agree with him? He was right, after all.

"Amanda?" Phillip's voice brought her back to the present. He was watching her with concern. "Are you okay?"

She smiled wanly and nodded, trying to focus on him instead of her problems... and Lee. "Sorry. I'm fine. What were you saying?"

"I was saying that I've been thinking seriously about moving here," he said again. "I think the change would do me and the girls a world of good. Living in the house we lived in with Lisa... well, she's everywhere. I can't escape her."

Amanda smiled gently. "Phillip, maybe the fact that you can't escape her means you're not ready to yet. And remember, the girls don't want to escape her at all. She's still their mother, and what went on between the two of you has nothing to do with them."

He regarded her with respect. "You're right, of course. I'll have to give it some more thought. I still feel really angry about the whole situation, if I'm honest with myself."

"Trust me," she said emphatically. "No one understands that better than I do. But the worst thing I could have done right after Joe left would have been to immediately move the boys away from the house they'd shared with their father."

"You're so smart..." Phillip whispered, leaning closer to her and capturing her lips for a brief kiss. "And beautiful." He kissed her again, deepening the contact. "And compassionate." Strong arms enveloped her and held her close. "And desirable," he murmured, his lips tracing her jaw.

Amanda stiffened in his embrace. Under different circumstances -- even a year ago, she would have welcomed Phillip's attentions. But after Lee's performance at the Mall, all she could do was compare Phillip to Lee, and he didn't measure up. Damn Lee Stetson! He had done it to her again, and it had meant nothing more to him than playing their cover.

Gently, she pulled back and kissed him on the cheek. "And very, very tired," she joked weakly. She could see the disappointment in his eyes and immediately felt guilty. "Honest. I'm just tired, Phillip." To smooth over any hurt she'd caused, she leaned in and kissed him briefly on the lips, focusing entirely on him and forcing Lee out of her mind. His arms went around her again and she leaned into him for a hug.

Phillip North would make a good husband. When she'd been seeing him in college, her mother had teased that by marrying him, she'd go from West to North. He was a wonderful man, she reminded herself again. And a far cry more of a safe bet than Lee Stetson.


	3. Chapter 3

SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

Pulling into the driveway, Amanda parked the car and smiled over at Phillip. As they all piled out of the car, the girls talked excitedly about their day of sightseeingand shopping.

"I can't wait to get my film developed so we can see the pictures!" Macy exclaimed.

Amy snorted. "You're such a geek, Macy," she replied. "Just like Jamie. What a couple of shutterbugs!"

"Amy, don't call your sister a geek," Phillip scolded his daughter as Amanda's sons burst into raucous laughter at the familiar line.

Amanda cast Phillip a grin. They had more in common every day, she mused. The kids chatted animatedly as they went into the backyard together.

Dotty stood on the porch, waiting for the ruckus to die down. When it finally did, she said, "Amanda," very softly.

"Yes, Mother?" Amanda was busy pulling groceries for dinner out of the back of the car. "You really should have come with us. We had such a good time--"

"Darling, you need to call work," Dotty said. "They called here asking for you, but I didn't know for sure where you were to try to track you down. They said it's very important, and you're to ask for someone named Francine. If she's not there, you're to call her at this number," she added, handing Amanda a slip of paper.

Amanda's hand shook as she took the note. She was gripped by a terrible sense of foreboding. "Excuse me, Phillip," she murmured to Phillip, running up the stairs to the privacy of her bedroom.

Reaching the Agency, she was told that neither Francine nor Billy was there. As her fear mounted, she dialed the alternate phone number her mother had taken down.

As she had suspected, she reached the hospital. Her voice shaking, she identified herself and asked for Francine Desmond. "Oh, Mrs. King," the operator said. "One moment, please." After being put on hold for no more than a minute, she heard Francine's voice on the other end of the line.

"Amanda. Finally!" Francine said. Her tone, though abrasive, was also awash with relief. "Listen, it's Lee. You should... you should probably get down here as soon as you can. There's been an accident."

Shaking, Amanda nodded frantically and then realized that Francine couldn't see her. Resisting the urge to ask a flood of questions, she said, "Oh, my gosh. Okay, I'll be right there!"

Rushing back downstairs, she refused Phillip's offer to drive her to the hospital, saying, "Thanks, but I'm not sure how long I'll be there. Please stay here with the kids and Mother and go ahead with the barbeque. I'll call you later."

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

It seemed to take forever for her to reach the hospital; she hit every single red light on the way. When she finally arrived, she found Mr. Melrose and Francine sitting in the lobby, talking together and looking grave. When they spotted her, they appeared relieved, which Amanda found strange. Francine rose and walked over to her.

"Amanda, thank God you're here. Lee's pretty badly hurt – not critical, but very serious. He... he was hit by a car and has some internal injuries. He's been out of surgery since this afternoon and has only been conscious off and on. Each time, he's been agitated and… and asking for you. Maybe because you're usually with him, he's worried about you… I really don't know." She shook her head as if perplexed, her brow creased in concern for their mutual friend.

Amanda had listened with growing apprehension. She'd taken a couple of days off, and now Lee could be dying. Maybe if she'd been with him, things would have been different. She might have been able to prevent it; it was her job --she was his partner. But she'd requested not to work with him anymore...

She turned to Mr. Melrose, who had walked over during Francine's brief explanation. "Come with me, Amanda," he said quietly, taking her elbow gently. "You can see Lee, but only for a few minutes."

Allowing her boss to lead her, she walked with him through the swinging double doors into the Intensive Care Unit.

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

Amanda sat at Lee's side, watching him and listening to the monitors that let her know his vitals were stable. He looked terrible; tubes were running in and out of his nose, an IV drip pierced his bruised hand, and his pale face looked haunted. Guilt plagued her and made her feel sick, and she poured a glass of water from his bedside table and sipped it.

As she recalled the events of the past few days, she again wondered what had been going on in Lee Stetson's mind. No matter what she might feel for him and whether he reciprocated or not, he was still the best friend she'd ever had. Nothing was worth risking the loss of his friendship in her life. She couldn't let things just end without trying to fix what had gone wrong.

"Hi, Lee," she said softly after a moment. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I hope you can. Mr. Melrose wouldn't reassign me. He, uh... he said we fight too often to go to the trouble of separating us just because we had another fight. Pretty smart of him, huh? I mean... " She laughed a little, trying to fight back the sudden onslaught of tears. "I mean... I've already changed my mind. I don't want to work with anyone but you. Maybe you don't feel the same way, especially after I let you down today, and if that's the case, I won't blame you. But... I wanted you to know that I'm sorry we fought, and I don't want to break up our partnership. Or our friendship."

She couldn't go on. His pallid face, his still form, and the possibility that he might not be out of the woods yet were all too much for her. A nurse slipped into the room and changed his IV, checked his vitals, and smiled reassuringly at Amanda.

"He seems to be doing much better. I've seen far worse," she said. "And Mr. Stetson is a stubborn one. He'll be okay, just you wait and see. Keep talking to him, Mrs. King. He really wanted you here earlier. He was barely conscious, yet I thought he was going to climb out of this bed to go and look for you."

Amanda smiled gratefully at the nurse, knowing that she must be exaggerating the situation. Perhaps, as Francine had suggested, Lee forgot that she hadn't been with him and he was feeling responsible for her. He always did worry more about her than himself.

"If you need anything, press this buzzer and I'll be here. My name is Monica." Pausing, she smiled at Amanda. "I'm supposed to ask you to leave now, but I think it's best for Mr. Stetson if you stay a while longer." She turned quietly and left the room, closing the door behind her.

"Seems like you're a favorite with Monica, Lee," Amanda said, stroking his hand. It might have been her imagination, but his heart monitor seemed to speed up just a little bit. "Just wait till you wake up," she teased. "I bet she won't like you quite so much then. Not when she finds out how cranky you can be."

Mr. Melrose stuck his head in the door. "Ah, Amanda," he whispered. "I'm sorry, but Leslie is here and would like to come in to see Lee. She's been in meetings all day and just found out what happened."

Nodding reluctantly, Amanda stood up, setting down Lee's hand. She hated that she'd had only a few minutes with him before Leslie showed up. "I have to go now, Lee, since Leslie is here**. **You'd rather have her here anyway, I know. I'll try to come back tomorrow if I can. Okay? Please get better, Lee."

She started to walk away but was shocked when his hand shot out and grabbed hers tightly. Startled, she looked at his face, but his eyes remained closed. "Lee?" she whispered. "Lee, let go."

Gently she pried her fingers loose, watching his face. He frowned and tried to regain his grip, but she had pulled away. A low moan escaped his lips, and it almost sounded like he mumbled her name. Reluctantly, she left the room, passing a worried-looking Leslie in the hallway.

Once she was back in the waiting room, Amanda stopped to talk again with Mr. Melrose and Francine, who filled her in on a few more details. Apparently, Fred Fielder had been assigned to go with Lee, but when he was a few minutes late, Lee had left for the assignment by himself. He was far outnumbered and had walked into a trap. The rest was sketchy until they could talk to Lee.

"I'm sorry I didn't get the news until just a little while ago. Ordinarily I would have been able to be here sooner." She shook her head, adding, "Of course, ordinarilyI would have been with him on the assignment."

"And in this case," Mr. Melrose broke in knowingly, "you could have been injured too, or far worse."

Her boss's words didn't make Amanda feel any better. Lee was her partner. She started to say as much but didn't get the chance. Monica rushed out from behind the double doors, calling to Amanda. "Mrs. King, could you come back into Mr. Stetson's room, please? He's still not awake, but he's calling for you," she said breathlessly.

Amanda shook her head, feeling her cheeks burn. "I just left," she protested lamely. As much as she wanted to be there for Lee, she didn't want to intrude while Leslie was there. "His girlfriend is here, anyway…"

"Please, Mrs. King. He doesn't seem to... to want her here," she insisted quietly. "Please follow me. He's going to make things a lot worse for himself if he doesn't calm down right away."

Her boss gave her a slight shove. "Go, Amanda," he urged.

Amanda's heart started pounding in her chest. "Okay," she relented, taking a deep breath. She ignored the curious expression on Francine's face and the amused one on Mr. Melrose's. He didn't seem at all surprised.

Entering the room, she saw Leslie staring in bewilderment at Lee. He was shaking his head from side to side, muttering "Amanda" over and over again. Leslie was trying to hold on to his hand, telling him she was right there, but he kept pulling it away.

Amanda realized he wasn't truly conscious; he was having a dream or nightmare of some kind.

"What's the _matter_ with him?" Leslie asked in frustration, glancing at the doctor who had preceded Monica and Amanda into the room.

"Mrs. King, please," the doctor said, holding a hand out to stop her progress into the room. "Wait a moment."

She nodded, crossing her arms in front of herself. She glanced at Leslie again, and felt uncomfortable with the way the other woman was staring at her. They both turned their attention to Lee as the doctor hovered over him, checking vital signs, andopening Lee's eyelids to check his pupils.

The nurse approached the doctor and quietly suggested that he let Amanda approach. "I really do think it's what will calm him down. He's been calling out for her ever since they brought him in here," she insisted.

Leslie frowned and shot another questioning glance at Amanda, who studiously avoided the other woman's gaze.

"Please," the doctor said, annoyed. "I think I know what's best for my patient."

"Amanda!" Lee called out clearly, knocking the doctor's hand away.

Frowning, the doctor looked at the monitors and said, "Damn it; I don't like these numbers. I'll be right back."

As soon as he strode out of the room, Monica motioned Amanda over. Leslie frowned again, taking a step back, watching as Amanda approached the bed. Amanda didn't care anymore that Leslie was in the room. Lee was calling for her, for whatever reason, so she would go to him. If she didn't, he was going to cause himself more harm. That was all the reason she needed.

"Lee? It's Amanda. I'm here." She brushed the hair back from his forehead and watched in amazement as his worried brow smoothed out at her touch.

Lee stopped thrashing about and relaxed immediately, letting out a contented sigh. "Amanda," he murmured drowsily. His vitals started returning to normal. Tentatively, Amanda reached for one of Lee's hands and he latched on, pulling her hand up to his face, which forced her to sit down in the chair by the bed.

"Don' leave," he mumbled, barely coherent. "Stay. Don' leave me again, Amanda." The activity on the monitors had slowed down considerably, and his face was regaining a little of its natural color.

Leslie had watched the entire scene with growing realization and consternation clearly written on her face. As Amanda glanced at her, she was backing up to the door. "Listen, I'm going to head on home. Tell Lee... tell him I'll stop by later. Maybe tomorrow. I, uh... I don't think he needs me here right now, and uh... well, I'm pretty tired, so I'm just going to go home."

Amanda nodded mutely, not knowing what to say. Leslie's discomfort was palpable. Glancing at the nurse, Amanda saw her smile encouragingly. After Leslie was out of the room, she said, "See? You're the one he wanted all along."

When the doctor returned, Monica waylaid him at the door and asked to speak to him in the hall. Amanda could hear her recommending that he allow Lee's partner to stay with him overnight. Lee's grip on her hand relaxed as she continued to stroke his forehead. He sighed softly and turned his head into her hand.

A moment later, the doctor came in to check Lee again. "It, uh, seems that I was wrong earlier. It's clear to me that Mr. Stetson wants you here. Another episode like the one he had earlier could seriously damage him," he said, shaking his head. "Will you be able to stay here, Mrs. King?"

"Of course," she agreed, still shaken. She couldn't figure out what was wrong with Lee; he would be mortified if he knew he was acting this way about anyone, let alone her. It didn't make any sense.

"Shall I have them bring in a cot?" he asked solicitously.

She shook her head. If she slept in a cot she wouldn't be able to maintain contact with Lee. "No, thank you; I'm fine right here."

"Monica is right. You must mean an awful lot to him, Mrs. King," the doctor said. "I don't know what we would have done if you hadn't gotten here when you did."

She didn't like to think of the possibilities, having seen his reaction for herself. Leslie had been right there by his side, yet he'd been calling out to Amanda. She didn't know what to make of it, and didn't want to even guess as to what it might mean. Probably nothing; he was unconscious, after all. She'd been in similar situations before and had made a mess of trying to make out Lee Stetson's feelings for her. It wasn't going to happen again.

Her eyelids eventually grew heavy. She used the bedside phone to call home and talk to her mother and then she called the hotel and talked to Phillip. It wasn't easy explaining why she had to remain at the hospital all night with a co-worker, so she was as vague as she could be. Phillip said he understood, but she could tell that he didn't. It was possible that this situation, given what he had told her of his own observations of Lee Stetson, might ruin whatever chances she had with Phillip. But there was no choice. If the situation were reversed, she knew that Lee wouldn't leave her side.

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

Amanda woke up slowly, feeling the weight of Lee's arm across her back. She had fallen asleep in the chair, having rested her head on the edge of Lee's bed, against his side. Her neck was cramped and sore; she gingerly removed Lee's arm and set it back down on the bed, moving her head from side to side to loosen her aching muscles.

Monica entered the room and smiled. "You're awake. Last time I was in here, he looked so content with you close by. He must really love you, Mrs. King."

Amanda felt her eyes widen. "No!" she exclaimed and then smiled apologetically. "I mean, we're just friends. We're not... involved, not like that," Amanda said, shaking her head in embarrassment.

"Well, anyway, I'm glad the doctor let you stay; I think it's helped Mr. Stetson. I... I know it's none of my business, but I think you're wrong about the way he feels about you. When his girlfriend was here last night, he didn't seem to want anything to do with her." The nurse's gaze lingered on Lee in concern.

Amanda cast a worried glance at her partner. "Well," she replied. "We've worked together for a long time. We're pretty close." Changing the subject, she added worriedly, "He hasn't woken up yet."

"He will," Monica said with certainty. "Look, my shift's over now, but I'll bring you some coffee before I go off duty."

"Thanks," Amanda said gratefully as Monica left the room.

Lee shifted suddenly and frowned. "Amanda?" His voice sounded much clearer than it had the night before. Slowly, he opened his eyes, but closed them again against the bright light.

Relief rushed through her system. "Yes, I'm here, Lee."

Reaching out, he found her hand and grasped it. "Amanda. Thank you for coming to see me this morning," he said, his voice raspy. She didn't bother telling him she'd been there all night long. "I... I wouldn't have been surprised if you hadn't. I need to tell you that I'm sorry... for everything."

"Shh... don't worry about all that right now," she began.

Shaking his head, he tried again to open his eyes. "No, I need to apologize. I was such a jerk. I won't blame you if you don't forgive me, but--"

"There's nothing to forgive," she assured him, squeezing his hand. "I was so worried about you, Lee. I'm just glad you're okay."

He swallowed with difficulty, and she filled a glass with water. Inserting a straw, she held a hand behind his head and helped him lean up and take a drink. "Thank you," he said, reaching up to squeeze her forearm. "Where's the doctor? When can I get out of this place?"

"Not until I say you can, Scarecrow," the NEST doctor informed him, walking into the room. "Nice to see you conscious and being your usual pain-in-the-ass self," he added, grinning. "Mrs. King, if you don't mind, I need to do a thorough exam. And don't you dare throw a fit over her leaving the room, Stetson."

Coloring deeply, Lee glanced nervously at Amanda. "I don't know what you're talking about, doc," he replied.

Amanda had stood and was gathering her sweater and purse. "Oh, he's just giving you a hard time because of your less-than-stellar reputation as a patient," she said, giving the doctor a warning look. Turning back to Lee, she said, "I have to go home and check on my family, but if you have to stay, I'll try to come back later."

Lee nodded nonchalantly. "Okay," he agreed. With a deliberately casual air, he asked, "Your friends are still here?"

"Yes," she said, opening the door. "They're still here. See you later."

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

It was mid-morning when Amanda arrived back home. There were two rental cars in the driveway, which seemed strange. Phillip must have been watching for her, because he came out of the house as she pulled up and walked out to greet her.

"Hi," she said, getting out of her car and heading over to him.

He gave her a brief hug and then stepped back. "Hi, yourself. How's Lee? What happened?"

"He was hit by a car," she explained, not mentioning that his injuries had occurred on the job. "He's going to be all right, but it was touch-and-go for awhile. The worst of it is over, but I think he'll have to be there for a few more days."

Phillip nodded, appearing to watch her closely. "I'm glad he's okay. You must be exhausted. It was nice of you to stay overnight, but not exactly the type of thing you normally do for someone who's just a co-worker or casual friend," he said knowingly.

"Well," she said, embarrassed by Phillip's observation. "He's a good friend. We've worked together for a long time, so… we're pretty close," she said, the words she'd said to Monica earlier sounding lame to her own ears.

He smiled. "I think he's quite a bit more than that to you, Amanda, and you to him. I don't care if he does have a girlfriend. That man is in love with you -- or well on his way -- whether he realizes it or not."

Amanda didn't know what to say. It seemed obvious to everyone but her that Lee had feelings for her, from Phillip to the nurse at the hospital. Before she could think of a response, Phillip went on. "Amanda, I have to tell you something. Um... Lisa's here."

"She is?" Her surprise equaled her genuine delight.

Nodding, Phillip went on. "She, uh... She wants to come back, Amanda. She said the divorce was the biggest mistake she ever made, and she still loves me, and misses me and the girls like crazy. She wants a second chance."

Giving him an exuberant hug, Amanda said, "Oh, Phillip, that's wonderful news! You must be so happy!"

He stared at her for a long moment, the conflict he was feeling evident. "One part of me is, and one part – the part that's been trying to get past all this and get on with my life – isn't. Why should I just jump back in after what she did? After... after I've started something… with someone new?"

Amanda shook her head. "Barely started, Phillip, if you could even call it that. All you need to decide – all that matters – is whether you still love Lisa. If you do, and if you want her back, none of the other things are even relevant."

He sighed and then nodded. "I admit I do love her. But if I thought that you and I stood a chance, Amanda, I just might tell her 'sorry, it's too late.'" His eyes searched hers, and it seemed like he was holding his breath as he waited for her reply.

"Phillip," she said softly. "It's been so good seeing you and the girls again. And... under different circumstances, I think we might have had a chance. But you still love Lisa, and Lisa still loves you. Enough to come here and tell you she wants you back. That kind of love is amazing. And... you're right, you know. There is _something_ between Lee and me. I don't know quite what it is, or if anything will ever come of it, but I... I do have feelings for him," she admitted. "I don't know about him, though."

"I knew it." Smiling broadly, he leaned down and kissed her forehead in a brotherly gesture. "I guarantee the man is head over heels for you; it's written all over his face. Leslie is a nice woman, but he won't end up spending his life with her. Any man would be lucky to call you his own, Amanda. I mean that."

"Thanks, Phillip," she said, blushing. He was completely wrong about Lee, but he meant well, and she was happy that he and Lisa were getting a second chance. If thinking that she would end up with Lee helped Phillip feel better about ending things with her, that was fine with Amanda. In a way, it was a huge relief. "Come on, let's go inside. I'm dying to see Lisa!"

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

Lee Stetson couldn't get comfortable. His entire body ached, the pain medication made him groggy, and the orders from his doctor to stay in bed made being at home almost as bad as being in the hospital. He was bored and hungry for some decent food, and there was nothing good on television.

In addition, Amanda hadn't visited him once since he'd come home yesterday, which made him irritable. Not to mention the fact that Leslie had been hovering over him, driving him crazy. It was as if she were trying to prove something to him, but for the life of him he didn't know what it was. Her bedside manner was nothing compared to Amanda's, and he could tell she was annoyed with him for some reason.

"You know, Leslie," he said to her as she came into the room with soup and Jell-O on a tray, "you really didn't have to take time off from work to be here waiting on me hand and foot."

She set the tray down and sat on the edge of the bed with a dramatic sigh. "Well, _you're_ the one who insisted on leaving the hospital even though the doctor wanted you to stay for a couple more days. He only agreed on the condition that you wouldn't get out of bed except to take care of your personal needs, and that someone would be here during the day to help you. Since you can't afford a private nurse, here I am."

He nodded slowly, surprised at how bitter she sounded. "Yeah... I mean… it's just that in the past, the Agency has paid Amanda to be here to help me, and she--"

"Oh, yes, well of _course_." Leslie began pacing the room, back and forth, in front of his bed. "Of course you'd rather have Amanda here! What was I thinking, assuming you'd actually want your _girlfriend_ here to take care of you and give you _personal assistance_? You wanted Amanda in the hospital – you kept calling for her until the nurse brought her in. Then suddenly you were just fine. And now, you'd rather have her here as your personal little nurse. I should have known."

He stared at her, dumbfounded at her outburst, and even more dumbfounded at her revelation about his calling out for Amanda when he was unconscious. So it hadn't just been a dream, he mused. His mind drifted back to the 'cover' kiss they'd shared. He hadn't intended to ravage her against the monument wall the way he had, but once he'd started, he hadn't been able to stop himself. Desire had suddenly taken over both his thoughts and actions.

It had been his own idea that they pose as a newlywed couple; he'd been the one to suggest the cover to Billy. With sudden clarity, he realized that he had set up the perfect opportunity to have an excuse to kiss Amanda. The knowledge made him feel confused and slightly giddy.

He couldn't clear his mind of the memory of how it felt to have his body so close to Amanda's. He'd felt her surprise at first, and perhaps a bit of resistance, but then her body had practically melted against his, her delightfully soft contours a perfect fit to his own firm ones. It had sent him into an even greater frenzy of passion. Never before had he let down his guard so completely in regard to his partner.

He felt himself growing warm, his breathing quickening to keep up with his rapidly pumping heart. He looked up to see Leslie watching him warily. "Why don't you just tell her how you feel? You _want _her, Lee, whether you realize it or not. You should see your face right now, at the mere mention of her name. I don't know what your hang-up is, but you'd better figure it out and either act on it or get over it. She doesn't deserve to be messed around with, any more than I do."

She walked over to the bedroom door. "You know, it could have been really great between us, if Amanda weren't right there every time you kissed me." At his surprised expression, she said quietly, "Oh, come on, Lee. Give me _some_ credit."

Lee moved the tray aside, wincing in pain as he tried to sit up. He fell back against the pillows, too exhausted to move. He started to deny her words, realizing as he spoke that his protestation was no longer true. "Leslie, you've got this all wrong. There's nothing between Amanda and me. We're just--"

Shaking her head, she interrupted him. "You've probably said that to yourself so many times that, despite your feelings, you believe it. Call her. Tell her you need her to come and take care of you. I know she will. I wish you could have seen the look on her face when she came into your room after your vitals started dropping. If you had, you wouldn't be able to kid yourself any longer. No woman looks at a friend the way Amanda King looks at you. Goodbye, Lee."

Lee stared at the closed bedroom door for a long time after he heard Leslie let herself out of his apartment. What had just happened? Had she really just broken up with him because she was jealous of Amanda? For some reason, he was relieved. Somehow, he had known all along it wouldn't last.

'_No woman looks at a friend the way Amanda King looks at you.'_ The words filled him with a delicious hope, and he knew that he'd been fooling himself for a very long time.

Trying to sit up, he gritted his teeth against the pain. There was no way he could get around by himself, as much as he hated to admit it. He thought about calling Amanda, but she had her 'friend' Phillip in town. Bitterly, he told himself that she wouldn't want to take time away from him to come over and baby-sither injured partner.

Picking up the phone, he tried to put a call through to Francine, but was informed that she was out of the office on an assignment for the next few days. It was just as well; Florence Nightingale Francine was not. With a sigh, he realized that he would have to call Amanda. Otherwise Billy would insist he go back to the hospital, and he wasn't about to do that.

He dialed her number, but only got her answering machine. He left her a brief message asking if she would mind helping him out "on an assignment". He knew she would understand what he really meant, and if she decided to come, it would allow Amanda to explain her absence to her mother in any way she needed to**. **

_SMKSMKSMKSMKSMK_

Lee woke up and looked at the clock, surprised not only that his nap had lasted for over two hours, but that Amanda hadn't called him back yet to let him know whether she would be able to lend him a hand.

He noticed in surprise that the tray containing his uneaten soup and gelatin was gone from the bed and hoped he hadn't knocked it onto the floor. That would be a huge mess that he wasn't capable of cleaning. But a glance at the floor relieved that worry. He didn't remember taking it into the kitchen; he'd had enough difficulty sitting up. And Leslie sure hadn't taken care of it before she left. 

Groaning in pain, he slowly forced himself to stand and gingerly made his way to the bedroom door. He had to stop and catch his breath before continuing. Opening the door, he walked with care into the living room and saw Amanda, asleep on his couch. Quietly he moved closer and stood watching her for several minutes. She was on her side, curled up and using her jacket as a pillow. Long, dark lashes were a contrast to her porcelain skin. Her hair fell over one eye, making her look incredibly seductive in sleep.

He smiled, unwilling to walk away, and wondered how she could capture his attention so completely when she wasn't even awake or aware of what she was doing. The trip from the bedroom to the living room had tired him out though, and he needed to lie back down. Turning, he began to head back to the bedroom, but in the darkened room he couldn't see where he was going, and he stubbed a toe on the coffee table.

He cried out in pain and shouted, "Damn it!"

He heard Amanda gasp, clearly startled out of sleep. "Lee!" she exclaimed, her voice groggy. "What -- why are you out of bed?"

"I was sick of being in bed, Amanda," he replied, hearing the irritation in his voice at what he called her 'mothering tone'. "I didn't know anyone was here, but the tray that was on my bed was gone, and I didn't hear anyone, so I came out to see."

She had gotten up from the couch and had come over, putting her arm around his waist and he stifled a groan at her touch. Relenting, he placed his arm around her shoulder and let her help him back to the bedroom.

"I'm sorry I didn't call first, Lee, but I was afraid of waking you up," she explained. "After I heard your message, I packed a few things and just came over. Since I have a key, I didn't think it would be that big of a deal if I just let myself in. When I got here and saw that you were sleeping, I was glad I hadn't called, or I would have disturbed you. I decided to take a bit of a nap myself."

Rolling his eyes, he said, "Amanda, take a breath, will you?"

Looking hurt at his chastisement, she muttered, "Sorry."

Silently she helped him back into bed. Picking up the water pitcher on his nightstand, she left the room. He heard her rinsing it out and adding fresh water. She returned a few minutes later and set it back down without a word, not meeting his eyes. He knew he had hurt her, and silently cursed himself.

Guiltily, he took hold of her hand. "Amanda, I'm sorry," he began.

She pulled her hand out of his. "You know what I tell the boys, Lee? I tell them that after a while, 'sorry' doesn't cut it. When you say it all the time, you can't possibly be sincere. So why don't you just wait until you're finished with your snide comments and your sarcasm and getting annoyed with me even though I'm here to help you out, and then give me one really big 'sorry' that you actually _mean_. Right now I'm going to fix you something to eat, and you'd better be glad I'm not just going to reheat that canned garbage Leslie tried to feed you." Blowing out an angry breath, she added, "I assume you're hungry?"

He nodded mutely, chastened. She stormed out of the room, not quite slamming the door behind her. He laid back into the pillows, astounded. He knew he was sometimes hard on Amanda, but she had never told him off so vehemently before. Grudgingly, he admitted to himself that he deserved it. If someone treated him that way, he wouldn't bear it half as well as Amanda did.

Something had definitely changed, however. He realized that he wasn't really irritated with her. It hadn't been her mothering that had annoyed him just now, but his own discomfiture at seeing her asleep on his couch looking sexy as hell. It had been his own reaction to recalling how it had felt to run his tongue along her jaw and feel her slender body shudder against his. And how, when he kissed her, it had completely obliterated all memory of every other woman he'd ever kissed, including Leslie. The revelation had nearly knocked him flat, and to dispel the urge to pull Amanda into his arms and kiss her again, he had reverted to the old sarcasm as a defense.

She was right – she was here to help him, and he was acting like an ass. She'd left her family and Phillip to come here and be with him. Lee didn't even want to think about the man who clearly was besotted by Amanda, or how serious she might be about him.

Leslie's tirade had made him realize a few things he should have already known, if he'd been honest with himself. In a way, he _had_ known; he'd just been denying his own feelings for so long that it had become second nature to do so. Leslie had hit the nail on the head about that, too, he thought ruefully.

Lee had a lot of thinking to do, as well as some serious apologizing once Amanda cooled down. He considered getting out of bed and going to her, but thought better of it and stayed put; if he tried to apologize now, she would only get angrier. Instead, he lay there, listening to the sounds of her literally throwing together something for him to eat.

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"Thank you," Lee said, finishing up the last bite of homemade soup as Amanda re-entered the room. "That was delicious, and much better than the canned stuff."

"Speaking of the canned stuff," Amanda said in an uncharacteristically snide fashion, "whatever happened to Leslie taking care of you?"

Wisely refraining from smiling at her obvious jab at Leslie, he said, "I, uh, made her mad, and she left."

Arching an eyebrow at him, she nodded. "Gosh, Lee, I just can't imagine how that could have happened," she said with unusual sarcasm. She moved around the bed to remove the tray from his lap.

He kept his eyes on her, but she wouldn't look at him. Worried that she wouldn't come back into his room once she took away the tray with his empty dishes, he said, "When you're finished, will you come back in and keep me company? I'm not tired yet, and it gets pretty boring lying here."

Rolling her eyes, she nevertheless relented. "Okay, fine. I'll be back in a few minutes."

True to her word, she returned shortly. Looking around but not finding a chair, she sat down on the edge of his bed. Reaching for his medication, she opened the bottle and took one out, handing it to Lee along with a glass of water. "Do you need anything else?"

With any other female in his bedroom, on his bed, Lee would have had an instant suggestive request. But with Amanda, all he could do was meekly say, "No, thanks," and swallow his pill.

After a few minutes of small talk, awkwardly working their way into a conversation, Lee said, "Amanda, I really appreciate your coming over here to help me out for a couple days, especially since you have... company."

"Well, I know you didn't want to have to go back to the hospital," she said, shrugging.

He watched her carefully. "I hope Phillip isn't too upset that you're not with him..."

She shook her head. "Phillip and Jamie are heading outon a weekend camping trip in the morning. That's all they can think of. I told Mother that--"

Lee cleared his throat loudly. "No, I meant Phillip North," he corrected, trying to keep the exasperation out of his voice. She was being deliberately evasive. When she didn't want to answer him directly, she did one of two things: answer his question with a question or purposely pretend she had misunderstood him.

"Oh, him!" She shrugged again, avoiding his gaze. "He, uh... had to go back home. They left this morning."

He was burning with curiosity as to why North had left and how Amanda felt about it, but it seemed that for once she wasn't in a talkative mood. "What did you tell your mother about being here?" he prompted.

"What? Oh! Well, I called and talked to Mr. Melrose and he asked if it were possible for me to stay here for at least the next night or two. I told Mother that IFF was filming a documentary on hotels and that in order to make it authentic, we were staying in one. But I don't have to stay if... I mean, if Leslie comes back," she paused and blushed slightly, looking away from him and at the wall, "I could go home and say that we changed our minds about staying in the hotel for the documentary. That might be a bit awkward, but--"

"Amanda," he said, wondering at how she had suddenly reacquired her loquaciousness as soon as they were off the subject of Phillip. "Leslie won't be coming back... at all."

Something in his tone must have relayed the full import of his words, because her brown eyes widened. Then she shrugged and said, "Oh. Well, that's none of my business. You didn't have to tell me that."

Lee figured there was plenty else he didn't have to tell her, such as _why_ Leslie had left. He knew Amanda must already know that he had called out for her when he was unconscious, but she didn't need to know that Leslie left in a fit of jealousy over her. He did wonder if Amanda was acting so uncomfortable because of his behavior in the hospital, or if there was something else bothering her.

"Amanda," he began, wondering where to start, what to say, and how much to say. He hadn't really had enough time to work things out in his own mind, and didn't want to say the wrong thing, or say too much.

She saved him the trouble. "You know... I think it's best that I let you get back to sleep, and that's the _last_ thing you'll do if I'm here on your bed." Her face registered mortification as she realized what she'd said and how it could be interpreted, and she was temporarily rendered speechless again.

Her words, however, had painted a very vividly suggestive image in Lee's mind, and he gaped at her. _If only_... Shaking off the provocative picture that his mind conjured, he tried for an air of nonchalance, as if he hadn't understood her slip.

She laughed nervously. "Oh, gosh. That didn't come out right. What I meant was, ah... You're really supposed to be sleeping a lot more than you have been, and I know you're already sick of being in bed, but maybe if you just lay here quietly, you'll be able to fall asleep again. I'm going to go and read for a while before I get some sleep myself. I hope you don't mind me using your couch." As she spoke, she had slowly backed up toward his door. "Good night, Lee," she said hastily, and disappeared down the hall.

Sighing, Lee turned off the nightstand lamp and settled into the blankets. It was a very long time before he fell asleep. Mingled with apprehension and uncertainty was the tantalizing thought of Amanda lying snuggled beside him. He could almost feel her in his arms, and he realized he was not only thinking about it, but longing for it. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to replay the moments with her at the monument, wishing he had the courage to try it without a cover for an excuse.


	4. Chapter 4

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Some hours later, Lee woke up from a nightmare, his heart racing. He and Amanda had been working a case, there was an explosion, and Amanda was nowhere to be found. He'd dreamed that he raced around the flame-engulfed building, calling for her, but she didn't answer. His fear that she was gone forever was a palpable thing, and he had felt grief, guilt, and anger that yet another person he cared for deeply was torn away from him.

Lee didn't know that he'd cried out, though, until Amanda rushed into the room. Her hair was tousled and her eyes squinted against the light as she flipped on the wall switch. He noticed she was wearing the same gown she'd had on the night he had climbed her trellis to talk to her about a case. In her haste, she had neglected to put on her robe.

"Lee?" she said, clearly worried. She rounded his bed and sat down on the edge of it, snuggled intimately close to his hip, placing her hand on the bed so that she was leaning across his body. All he could do was gaze at her, still somewhat disoriented and trying to throw off the remnants of the nightmare.

Her cool fingertips brushed the hair back from his forehead as she studied him closely. "You're really warm, Lee, are you feeling all right? Should I call the hospital?"

"I'm okay," he lied, fighting against the excitement at having her so close. The hospital couldn't help him with what he needed, but he didn't say that to her. "I uh... I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"

She nodded. "Yeah, you were calling me. But it's okay," she assured him, concern etching her delicate features. "You sounded pretty upset. It must have been a really bad nightmare."

Unable to stop himself, he reached out and touched her face lightly, needing to reassure himself that she was there and that she was real. Somehow, he couldn't quite convince himself that he had awakened. The temptation to lean forward and kiss her was strong, just as it had been that night in her bedroom. He felt, oddly, that their positions were now reversed – she sitting on his bed in the middle of the night, concerned for him.

"I'm fine," he repeated lamely. His heart was still pounding, only now he knew it was for a very different reason.

Her eyebrows knitted together. "Are you sure? Is there anything you need to talk about? Anything I can do?"

Shaking his head, he attempted a smile, again fighting off responses he knew she was nowhere ready to hear from him. "No, thanks. Sorry I woke you up."

She smiled back at him. "It's okay, Lee. That's why I'm here."

"Amanda."

"Yes?"

"Stay with me until I fall back asleep." Hoping against hope she wouldn't say no, he added, "Please."

Amanda nodded wordlessly, walking back to the doorway to turn out the light, and then returning to the bed, still not speaking. He lifted the covers, and she hesitated, looking at him uncertainly.

"Please?" he said again, conveying with his tone what he couldn't with words.

"I don't know, Lee," she said hesitantly.

He sighed. "I just got out of the hospital, Amanda. I'm in no condition to try anything," he assured her. "I don't want to be alone."

She licked her lips nervously. He knew how she felt about sharing a bed; hadn't they been in enough situations where they'd had separate rooms? But this was different. He felt terribly vulnerable, though he would never admit it to her, and he didn't want her away from his side tonight. Finally, she wordlessly slipped in beside him.

Feeling a sense of utter contentment wash over him, he laid his arm out over the pillow next to him, and she slowly put her head down in the crook of his arm. He pulled her snugly against his body, and felt her go rigid. After a moment, though, she relaxed and let her hand rest tentatively against his chest. He could feel her trembling… or maybe it was him.

"Is this okay?" he asked gruffly.

He felt her take a deep breath and then she said nervously, "Uh-huh."

Sighing to release the tension and horror of the nightmare, he breathed deeply, taking in her scent, and whispered, "Thank you."

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Lee woke up and realized that he wasn't alone in his bed. It was a slightly foreign feeling to him, as he hadn't been keeping much nocturnal company as of late. Regardless of Amanda's assumption that Leslie had shared his bed, it was unfounded and untrue.

The events of the night before flooded back to him, and he smiled as he realized it was Amanda who was snuggled next to him. As he cleared away the last vestiges of sleep, he could hear and feel her even breathing and knew that she was still sleeping soundly.

Taking a moment to assess the situation, he suddenly became aware that her hand had somehow snaked under his T-shirt and now was flat against his bare stomach. The feeling caused a quiver of excitement to course through his body. However, what caused his heart to start beating erratically against his rib cage was the realization that her bare leg was draped over both of his thighs, having escaped not only her nightgown but the sheet and blankets of his bed.

Daring to raise his head slightly, he found himself staring at one long, shapely leg draped across his form. He couldn't even tell where her nightgown ended. Deciding to enjoy the sensation of such an intimate moment with Amanda, he lay as still as possible, hoping she would sleep on for a while longer.

She did. Lee took the time to think about the woman in his arms. He had never felt so content in his life. This felt so right. It felt as if a search was over; he had found Amanda, whom he hadn't even known he was looking for, and now everything madesense. Now if only she felt the same way.

But what would she want with a man like him? With his past, he was hardly a rock of stability in the relationship department. He would never want Amanda to think he wanted a casual fling with her. What did he want with her? The answer to that question startled and perplexed him. He had never wanted a long-term, permanent relationship with any other woman the way he found himself wanting it with Amanda.

After a while, Amanda burrowed closer to him, inching her leg up higher upon his body. He held his breath, his lungs suddenly unable to function properly. Why was it that everything Amanda did heightened his awareness of her, even when done in innocence? She sighed and moaned softly, causing him to suppress an answering moan of his own. If she could evoke these sensations in him while she was sound asleep...

Lee didn't get to finish the thought. Suddenly she flung herself off him, landing on her back. He couldn't tell if she had woken up or not, so he slowly moved his body with some difficulty and pain, so that he was lying on his left side, facing her. He had closed his eyes with the effort, and when he reopened them, her brown ones fluttered open and focused on him.

"Good morning," she said, her voice appealingly raspy with sleep.

"Good morning," he managed, struggling to maintain his composure.

She sat up slowly, rearranging her nightgown with a self-conscious glance at him. "What time is it?"

He looked over at his nightstand clock. "Eight."

Amanda nodded. "Well, Dr. McJohn will be here by nine. You'd better hit the shower, and then I will."

He stiffly made his way into the bathroom, where he had a difficult time pulling off his pajamas. By the time he was finished showering, he was exhausted and weak. Grabbing a towel, he dried off the best he could and then wrapped the damp terrycloth around his waist. Fearing he would collapse if he didn't get off his feet immediately, he sat down on the closed lid of the toilet with a groan.

Looking around the bathroom, he saw that he had forgotten to bring in something to put on. There was no choice but to call Amanda for help. He hated to admit it, and hated it even more to have to call her into the bathroom when he was wearing next to nothing, but if he didn't, he'd never be able to get up. His abdomen felt as if it had been run over by a truck. 'Close enough,' he mused to himself.

"Um... Amanda?"

There was no answer; she must have gone out of the bedroom. "Amanda?" he tried again.

"I'm here, Lee, what is it?" her voice sounded concerned through the bathroom door.

"I'm going to need a little help," he told her, hearing the chagrin in his voice.

A pause ensued but finally she responded, her voice somewhat shaky, "Um, okay, sure. Are… are you decent?"

Rolling his eyes in amusement, he replied, "As decent as I can be, under the circumstances."

The door opened and she slipped into the bathroom. He saw her eyes widen at the sight of him clad in only a towel, but she came over to him and studied him with worried eyes. Laying a hand on his bare shoulder, she asked, "Lee, are you all right?"

He nodded, his body reeling at her touch. "I'm okay. I just... wore myself out, that's all. I don't seem to have any strength left."

"Well, you took on a car, Lee," she joked lightly, leaning down so that he could wrap an arm around her shoulders. "Here we go. Just take it easy and slow..."

Hanging on to Amanda, feeling her hands on his torso, he didn't mind if it took all day. They walked slowly into the bedroom and she helped him to sit down on the bed. "Um... can you get dressed if I get some things out for you?" she asked, biting her lower lip.

He found her discomfiture charming, but made a mental note to himself that soon... very soon she wouldn't have trouble helping him with such intimate tasks. "Sure, I can handle that," he said, although he wasn't sure at all he could. "Just, ah, get me some boxers from the second drawer down, and a T-shirt and some pajama bottoms from the drawer below that."

She went over to his dresser and opened the second drawer. She stood there for a long moment and then turned around to face him, holding up a pair of white lace panties. "Did you want to wear these?" she asked dryly, an unreadable expression on her face.

His face heated. "Ah…" He laughed nervously and then cleared his throat. "Sorry. Those are, ah--"

"Please, Lee," she interrupted, unceremoniously dropping the offending lingerie back into his drawer and pulling out a pair of boxers. "Spare me the details."

Opening the next drawer, she pulled out a white T-shirt and a pair of navy blue cotton pajama bottoms. She walked over and handed the stack of fresh clothes to Lee. "Here you go," she said, somewhat coolly. "Now if you don't mind, I'll go ahead and take my own shower."

"Sure, but Amanda--" Wasn't she going to take some clothes and a towel in with her?

She paused just before closing the door. "Lee. Your collection of women's lingerie is absolutely none of my business. Now, please, just forget about it." The door closed with a resounding click and he heard the fan turn on, then the water.

Chuckling to himself, he began laboriously dressing himself. He took Amanda's attitude about finding the underwear as a very good sign. She had, in the past, accused him of acting 'like a jealous person.' He wondered what she would say if he said something similar to her. He had found the offending panties under his bed one day after having a new mattress and box-spring delivered. They had probably been there for some time, and he'd had no idea whose they were. She evidently believed they were Leslie's, by her reaction, and he realized that he was going to have to set her straight on that score.

Ten minutes later, Lee was still sitting on the edge of his bed, captivated by the sound of his shower running and the knowledge that Amanda was in his bathroom... wet and wearing nothing. Waiting for her to call out to him, he stood slowly and walked into the hallway to get a fresh towel, knowing he'd used the last one off the rack in the bathroom. He made his way back into the bedroom just as he heard the water shut off.

Not twenty seconds later, he heard her call him. "Lee?" The distress in her voice was obvious.

"Yes, Amanda?"

"Um, are there any towels in here?"

"No." He grinned, clutching the towel in his hand. "I used the last one."

"Why didn't you tell me that?" she called out plaintively.

"I tried to, but you didn't listen," he informed her dryly, still grinning in amusement. "You were too busy giving me a lecture on lingerie and then you shut the door."

After a long pause, during which he knew his name was being silently cursed, she replied, "Oh. Well, um... I need a towel. Please."

He knew she was still inside the shower; he hadn't heard the door slide open on the track. Without warning her, he opened the bathroom door and walked in to find her peering out from the shower. The glass was fogged over -- he wouldn't have come in if he weren't aware that this was the case whenever the bathroom was steamed -- but he could still make out the vaguest outline of her slender form.

"Don't worry," he said before she could protest, "the door is fogged over."

She stared at him, not speaking, her wide brown eyes shocked.

He sauntered over, not that he could have moved faster if he'd wanted to, and handed the towel to her wordlessly. She looked gorgeous, her face devoid of makeup and her dark hair slicked back, her brunette hair dripping in loose ringlets. He'd never seen anyone so temptingly sexy in his life.

Amanda grabbed the towel, scowling at him, and quickly ducked her head back in. She wrapped the towel around her body quickly. "Thank you," she said, her voice trembling.

"No problem," he assured her, his voice betraying him with its huskiness. No, it hadn't been a problem at all!

She looked out again and glared at him, only her face visible, the blue towel she wore a barrier to a really great view through the still-fogged shower door. "Lee..." she said, a warning in her voice.

"Yes?"

"Don't you think you should leave now?" she asked, as if it should be obvious, which it should have been. He stood, rooted to the spot. The medication must be affecting him; what other reason could there be for this odd sluggishness? Amanda went on, almost as an afterthought, "In fact, would you please bring me my bag from the living room?"

He wasn't supposed to lift anything; McJohn would have his head on a platter and he'd be here in less than half an hour, besides which, Lee didn't think he was capable of even making it to the living room and back. "Amanda... I'm sorry, but I can't." He reminded her of the doctor's orders.

"Oh, of course!" she exclaimed, all concern for herself having vanished and now focused on him. "Sorry, I forgot. Go, get in bed. Let me dry off and then I'll get it myself."

He obeyed, and moments later, she stepped out of the bathroom wrapped back up in the towel, and glanced at him self-consciously. "Um... I'll just go and... get my clothes. So I can get dressed."

Lee stared. His mouth had gone dry. Amanda was standing in his bedroom, clad only in a towel that hung to her mid-thigh. She was clinging to it like a lifeline as she made her way toward his bedroom door. He nodded dumbly, unable to tear his eyes away. Amanda blushed as she hurried from the room, and Lee made the most of every second he had to appreciate her scantily-clad retreating form.

"Stay where you are, Lee," she called from his living room. Chagrined, he knew she was changing in his living room and he wouldn't get another glimpse of her in his towel. Leaning back on his pillows, he waited for her to return.

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"So, Dr. McJohn said you're healing all right?" she asked. They were both sitting on the couch; Lee had grown sick of being in bed all the time.

He was touched that she was so concerned. This was the third time she'd asked about McJohn's prognosis. "Yes, Amanda," Lee said gently, knowing that once upon a time, her persistence would have annoyed him. "I'm fine. I'm not ready to run any races, but I'm healing," he told her, hearing the regret in his voice.

"That's good," she said, giving him a smile.

"Sorry you're not off the hook yet. McJohn asked if you'd be able to stay overnight again, and then after that you can spend evenings at home." He looked at her hopefully, holding his breath. He didn't want her to leave quite yet. "Of course, if you need to be at home tonight…"

"I would think you'd be ready to get rid of me, but if you _want _me to stay, I will," she said, giving him an easy out. She seemed to do that by habit anymore, always letting him be the one to decide if and when he wanted her around. That, he knew, was a result of his attitude and sarcastic speeches, always telling her there was nothing between them. She was clearly protecting herself from hearing it anymore.

Wanting her to know he was sincere, he took her hand in his. "I'd really appreciate it if you would."

She appeared to hold her breath, her eyes flitting nervously down to their joined hands. Finally, she nodded, and said simply, "Okay."

He took a deep breath, preparing for a conversation that was long overdue. "Amanda, listen. I don't want to work without you. I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately, and I won't blame you if you never want to work with me again. But I want you to know I'll fight Billy on splitting us up, even if it's still what you want. I can't... I can't bear to think of you working with someone else and not being there to protect you."

She looked at him for a long time, and he had the feeling she was trying to think of what to say. "Well, I don't want to work with anyone else either, Lee," she finally replied. "I mean... look what happened to you this time? I felt so guilty. Maybe if I'd been there, things would have been different. Maybe--"

"Shh," he stopped her, shaking his head. "Don't you dare blame yourself, Amanda. I'm the one who left without a partner, a fact which I'm sure Billy hasn't forgotten. Besides, there's no use in looking back at what-ifs," he said. "Are you serious though? You really don't want to stop working with me after all?"

"No," she said, and smiled. Then her smile faded, and she went on, "But Lee... some things are going to have to change, if we're going to keep working together."

Concerned at her tone, he nodded. He'd agree to anything in order to keep her in his life and to keep her as his partner. "Tell me. I'll do whatever it takes."

Amanda looked at him skeptically, as though she doubted his sincerity. Then she drew a deep breath, gently pulling her hand out of his grasp. "Well, it's just that... I think we can come up with cover stories that don't involve posing as a couple, if we give it a little more thought. Or else... when you go on those assignments, you can take another female agent along." Looking reluctant to go on, she bit her bottom lip but finally said, "I just... I can't do that anymore, Lee. It's so awkward and uncomfortable. You're my friend, but it's really… difficult for me to do those things with you." She looked down at her hands twisting in her lap, her face flushed a becoming pink.

Lee felt his heart beating wildly in his chest. Was that the _only_ reason it bothered her? Because she thought of them as just friends? 'Well, what else would she think?' he asked himself sarcastically. The way he pounded it into her that there was nothing between them, there was little else she could be expected to think.

He didn't address her comments right away, reluctant to agree to her terms before he knew better how she felt. Instead, he hesitated for only a moment before changing the subject completely. "You know, you never told me why Phillip went home. I thought he was staying longer."

Frowning in feigned confusion at what she clearly viewed as a sudden diversionary tactic, she repeated, "Phillip?"

"Yes, Amanda, _Phillip_," he said, raising an eyebrow to let her know he knew what she was up to.

She licked her lips and averted her eyes, clearly not wanting to talk about it. But after a moment, when he didn't relent, she sighed. "Lisa came back," she said simply.

"Lisa?" he prompted.

"His wife. Ex-wife, actually." She glanced at him, an indefinable expression on her face. "She realized that she had made a huge mistake in leaving him, told him that he was the best thing that had ever happened to her and that she'd been stupid... that she missed him and the girls." She looked at him again, and he got the feeling that she was wondering how much to tell him.

Lee couldn't stop himself from asking, "And Phillip? What did he think about that? Was he happy to see her?"

Amanda gave him a half-smile. "He said he knew he wasn't completely over her, but that he'd... he'd tell her to forget it if he could be sure there was a chance that we... that he and I could…" She trailed off, her gaze settling somewhere over his left shoulder.

"And you told him to go back to her," Lee concluded, fighting the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Had she loved Phillip? Was she disappointed?

She nodded. "Well, of course I did," she confirmed. "It was what he wanted, too. He just needed a little… nudge in the right direction."

Not able to gauge what Amanda was feeling, Lee said, "I'm sorry, Amanda. But I'm sure he couldn't have known she would come back. He probably didn't even realize he was still in love with her until she did." He wanted desperately to be helpful but he didn't want to hear it if she were upset about losing the other man.

"It was best for them to keep the family together," she said reasonably. "If there's one thing that those girls deserve, it's to have both their parents in their lives, together, if possible. Joe and I... that could never have happened for us. I don't love him that way anymore."

"But you could have loved Phillip," he filled in reluctantly. "Or... _do_ you love Phillip already?" He almost cringed, hoping it wasn't too personal a question.

Shaking her head, she looked at him enigmatically, her face clouding over. He wished, not for the first time, that he could read her more easily. She had learned from him how to hide her feelings. "No. No, I don't. And I realized that even before Lisa came back. I had already started wondering how I was going to break it to him gently that it just... wouldn't have worked out between us."

Insatiably curious, Lee leaned closer, unable to stop himself from asking, "Why? I thought... you were friends a long time, and he said the two of you dated for a while. He seemed…" He paused, but forced the words out of his mouth, "perfect for you. He has kids, and..." It was Lee's turn to trail off, not knowing what else to say.

She leaned her head back into the couch cushions. "I know. I thought so too, at first. In theory, it seems like a good match. We have a lot in common, we both have kids, we come from similar backgrounds but... Well, you can't be with someone when you're..."

'In love with someone else,' he finished mentally, recalling a similar line in a popular old movie he'd watched over and over when he was a child.

But Amanda didn't finish her sentence. She appeared to be lost in her own thoughts for a long moment, and then she seemed to shake off whatever ghosts were haunting her. She smiled at him, a little too brightly. "Never mind. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm being silly. Are you hungry? I'll fix you whatever you want for lunch."

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Two weeks later, Lee was back to work and things had returned to normal between him and Amanda. They were working together again, and had recaptured the easy camaraderiethey'd developed over the last couple of years. It was no longer enough for Lee, though to all appearances, it was enough for Amanda. She seemed very relieved to have the status quo back.

Lee stood in his kitchen, preparing a gourmet meal for Amanda. He had invited her over for dinner before she left for the day, surprising himself. It had been on his mind, but he had nearly chickened out. But as he had helped her on with her sweater, the words had spilled from his lips.

"How about you come over for dinner this evening, say around seven?" he had said, holding his breath while he waited for her answer. He half-expected her to turn him down flat. "To thank you for taking care of me while I recovered," he blurted out, anxious that she was about to say 'no.'

Turning to face him, she had searched his eyes briefly before smiling slightly. "Okay, sure," she had agreed. "You picked a good night. Mother is taking the boys to a movie they've been clamoring to see."

Lee glanced at the clock. Amanda would be arriving in about half an hour. He had wine chilling and he was putting the final touches on his famous crème brulette for dessert. He was also reinforcing his resolve. Tonight he would find out if Amanda returned his feelings; even if it was a fraction of what he felt for her, it would be enough.

The past couple of weeks had been exquisite torture as he abided by her wishes and refrained from using covers that made her uncomfortable. He hadn't, however, given up holding her hand. He needed that small contact with her to keep from going completely crazy. As Leslie was out of the picture, Amanda had stopped pulling away when Lee reached for her, and he was encouraged by this small indication that maybe things were back in his favor.

As he was setting the table, complete with tapered candles and his best crystal, china and flatware, the doorbell rang. The ringing set his heart off and it started a rhythmic staccato in his chest. This was it. There would be no backing out – not tonight.

He pulled off the towel he'd been using as an apron and tossed it into the kitchen. Quickly checking his shirt for stains, he went to the door and opened it, unable to keep a grin from spreading across his face. "Hi," he greeted her warmly.

"Hi!" She returned the smile. "Long time, no see, partner," she joked; it had been about three hours since they'd left the Agency after firming up plans for the evening. Though Amanda was teasing, it had seemed a long time to him, and he was happy to see her.

Lee took a moment to drink in the sight of her. She wore simple black slacks than accentuated her trim figure, and a soft-looking red sweater. He licked his lips in anticipation of kissing her, just as soon as he got up the nerve to tell her how he felt about her. If, that was, she shared his feelings. After the way their relationship had settled into a platonic pattern the past couple of weeks, he had his doubts.

"Come in," he said, stepping back to allow her to enter. "You look great. Dinner's just about ready."

"Thanks. Something smells wonderful," she replied, walking in and setting down her purse. He couldn't resist watching the sway of her hips as she walked into his apartment. It felt so right, having her here. Again, he wondered why it had taken him three years to realize what a special woman Amanda was.

"Everything's just about finished," he said, cursing himself for repeating what he'd already said.

Following him into the dining room, Amanda said, "Thanks for inviting me over, Lee. It's been a while since we've done this."

"I know," he agreed, nodding as he watched her intently, trying to discern if she had any inkling of what he was feeling. He wouldn't be surprised if his heart was on his sleeve tonight. "Too long. I've missed it."

She ducked her head, whether at his words or the unspoken feelings behind them, he couldn't tell. To escape the awkward moment, he went back into the kitchen, calling to her, "Make yourself comfortable; I'll bring you some wine."

"Thanks; that would be great."

While they ate, they talked easily about work, her family, and the fact that she had heard from Phillip and Lisa, who were getting remarried and had invited Amanda and her family to the wedding.

He watched her closely as she talked about Phillip and Lisa; there didn't seem to be any regret or sadness evident in her face or voice, and he found himself remembering what she'd started to say about not being able to be with someone 'when you're...' He'd been wondering ever since what she'd almost said, and why she'd caught herself and stopped speaking. As she spoke, he tried to find a way to ask her about it.

"Anyway, I'm so happy for them. They both realized what they had given up, and it's really special that they didn't waste any more time apart. They're a great couple, and I was sorry when Phillip told me it was over, especially for Amy and Macy." Her eyes widening, she looked up at him, her expression apologetic. "I'm sorry," she said, bowing her head slightly. "I know you hate it when I ramble."

Mentally cringing, he chastised himself for ever making her feel that way. "I don't mind," he said sincerely.

Looking at him incredulously, she joked, "Who are you, and what have you done with the real Lee Stetson?"

He laughed and took advantage of the opportunity she'd handed him. "The better question is what have _you_ done with Lee Stetson?" There. That would give her something to think about.

She looked down at her plate, her long eyelashes hiding her expression from him and her cheeks turning pink. "I don't know what you mean," she murmured.

"Amanda." He covered her free hand, which rested on the table and didn't miss how her eyes darted up to meet his in surprise. "You have to know that I'm not the same man I used to be. Since I met you, I've changed." He heard the husky timber in his voice and hoped Amanda did as well.

She shrugged this off and he recognized her diffident manner as a defense. He'd seen her do it often enough. "Oh, well, everyone changes, even you. It doesn't have anything to do with me."

"No, Amanda, I never would have changed this much if you hadn't come into my life," he countered. "I owe a lot to you."

Amanda shrugged, looking very uncomfortable. "I don't know about that, Lee. I know what a burden I was to you at first. I… I'm glad you don't think of me that way anymore, but please don't try to credit me with something like that just to make me feel good."

"I'm serious. I wouldn't say it if it weren't true; you should know that much about me by now." He reached over and placed a finger under her chin, raising her face until she looked him in the eyes. "Amanda..." he whispered.

Her beautiful brown eyes fixed on him again, widening. She blinked nervously. "Hmm?"

As he began to lean closer, she took a deep breath and started rambling again. "Thank you for dinner, it was really wonderful, Lee. I wish I knew how to cook like that. I'm more of a crock-pot cook – throw a bunch of stuff in and set it on low all day and there's dinner!" Her voice cracked and she laughed nervously, attempting to pull away from him.

"Hey," he said softly, not about to stop what he'd started. He took her sudden uneasiness as an encouraging sign and forged ahead. "Listen to me, huh? I'm trying to tell you something important, Amanda."

She stood up from the table, frustrating him further. Just when he was resolved to move forward, she was the skittish and evasive one. It was maddening, and he wondered if she had ever felt what he was feeling right now.

"Look, Lee, I hate to bring this evening to an end, but I'd better get home. Uh--" She gave him a crooked smile, moving away from the dining room. "Thanks again…"

"It's only eight-thirty, Amanda!" he protested, standing as well and heading toward her. "You can't leave now, we haven't even had dessert yet. Please stay. I… I need to tell you something."

His tone must have implied something she wasn't ready to hear, because her eyes widened and she cleared her throat nervously, blushing again. She backed away from him, toward the living room. "Rain check?"

There was no way he was letting her leave. "No. Not this time."

Looking surprised, she said incredulously, "I beg your pardon?"

"We're going to talk," he informed her. "Whether you want to or not."

She nodded warily. "So talk." Despite her words, she continued to move away from him.

He continued to pursue her, amused by the hunted look on her face. Somehow, he had to find the words he needed to say before she grabbed her purse and fled out the door. "Amanda, stand still!" he said, frustrated in more ways than he could count.

She obeyed reluctantly, allowing him to close the distance between them. Before she could retreat again, he reached out and pulled her closer to him, pleased at the little gasp she gave. He left his hands on her hips, feeling her every muscle tense. "Listen… when we were on that assignment to get the microdot from Zielinski... that was no cover kiss, Amanda. I wasn't playing a role for a job. I took advantage of our cover to do what I'd been wanting to do for a long time. Please don't tell me you thought that was just for... the assignment. I felt you respond to me when I kissed you, and I was hoping that… that maybe there might be something there."

Her eyes fixed on his chest, she slowly shook her head. "Lee, I think you're making a big mistake. Please don't--"

"Wait a minute," he whispered. Finding his voice again, he said, "The other night when you were here and I woke up calling your name... I had a nightmare that I'd lost you forever. It made me realize that life is too short to keep trying to fight what I feel for you. I know that... that when I was in the hospital, I kept asking for you."

She nodded, looking painfully uncomfortable. "I didn't know you knew about that."

"Leslie told me," he confessed. "I think it was the last, inevitable straw for her."

"Lee, please," she said, sounding desperate.

"Please what?" he asked huskily, intoxicated by her nearness. He tried to draw her closer, but to his dismay, she resisted, placing her hands on his chest in an attempt to push him away.

"I can't say what I need to say when you're... when you're so close," she told him, putting some distance between them. "I've had a lot of time to think lately, and even though I do have certain... feelings for you, it would never work. I think you've hesitated to do anything about your feelings for the same reason I have – because we know it would ruin our friendship if it didn't work out. We're just too different, Lee. You can't tell me that you're excited about the fact that I have two children and a live-in mother. You live a totally different lifestyle than I do, and eventually, you would get tired of me and want to move on to someone new and more exciting."

Pausing, she appeared to struggle with what she had to say next. He stared at her, unable to speak, waiting for her to continue. It was clear that she had given this a lot of thought too, and ended up at the exact opposite conclusion he had. "And Lee, that would devastate me. I can't have you for a little while and then lose you. I won't do that to myself and risk losing my best friend, and I can't settle for a casual thing with you... it would break my heart when it ended."

"Amanda," he said when she finally paused to draw a shaky breath, "I've thought of all those things too, maybe not in the same context you have, but I've considered everything. I don't want my old life and I never will again. I know now, thanks to you, that it was an empty life. I don't have a family – you're the closest thing I have to a family, Amanda. And while I can't guarantee that things are going to work out perfectly for us, I'll always wonder 'what if' if we don't give it a shot. You're all I can think about day and night. I'll be damned if I'm going to let you push me away because you're scared we won't stay friends. You're my _best_ friend, and nothing will change that. No matter what."

He could feel her heart pounding against her ribs, racing in tandem with his. He could read the doubt and confusion in her eyes as she looked at him pleadingly. "Lee, this isn't going to work…"

"No!" He swallowed hard. "Don't tell me it won't work, Amanda. I won't accept it. I'm… I'm too far gone for that. You said a minute ago that it was hard for you to say what needed to be said with me so close… Don't you think I feel the same way when I'm near you? Why deny that, Amanda?"

Amanda shook her head, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "I'm sorry, Lee, but this is going to have to be one time when you don't get your own way. I'm sorry to have to say that, but you just recently ended a relationship with Leslie. How can you be so sure you're not on the rebound? How can you feel this way for me when you were with her just a few weeks ago?"

Lee refused to listen to what she was saying. He could feel that he was losing her; she was drawing away, and she obviously thought she had good reasons to do so. It was written in her face, so easy to read in her eyes. She would leave him, stop working at the Agency. Where their relationship was headed was inevitable, unstoppable; it had been building to this for a long time. He knew that if she felt she had to avoid it by hiding, she would. And while he wasn't ready to profess the true depth of his feelings, if he hadn't done anything about it, they would eventually have come to this moment anyway. It was just that certain events had expedited matters.

"Leslie was a mistake," he told her. "I know you don't believe me, but she was." Slowly, he began walking toward her again. "Put your purse down, Amanda," he said quietly but authoritatively. "I was only with Leslie for a few weeks. Things never… they never felt _right_ with her. I finally realized that I was only using Leslie as a substitute for the woman I really wanted – you." Lee paused and took a deep breath. "You should also know that—"

"Lee," she drew out his name the way she often did when she was trying without effect to cajole or reason with him. In this instance, she was trying to end the conversation.

He shook his head. "Let me finish. There's something else you need to know. Leslie and I never… I never slept with her, Amanda."

Amanda's face flushed as she averted her eyes. "That's none of my business. You don't need to explain—"

"Yes, I do," he insisted. "Never with Leslie, and not for a long time before her. I need you to know that."

"Okay, well, I really need to get home now. I'm sure that tomorrow you'll realize that I'm right, and you'll be grateful that I stopped you when I did. This – you and me – it isn't a good idea, and deep down, you know it's true. You've said so yourself more times than I can count," she added reasonably. "How many times have you reminded me that we're not involved?"

"I was wrong. And now, you're wrong," he said. Her brown eyes widened as he continued to advance predatorily upon her, stalking her. "You're afraid. So am I. That's natural, Amanda. But you can't let your fear keep you from taking chances. Please don't push me away."

"I'm not pushing you away. And I'm not afraid," she said, her eyes wide. She started backing toward his front door, her purse on her shoulder, talking a mile a minute. "I'm just trying to help you see what a mistake this would be. Sooner or later, you would see if for yourself, anyway. So, ah, I'll just let myself out. I'm sorry I'm not staying to help with the dishes, but you have a dishwasher, so I'm sure you have things under control."

She had reached the door, bumping into it with her back and gasping in surprise. Not watching where she'd been going, she had gotten to it sooner than she'd expected. He closed the distance quickly with just a few steps, placing both hands on the door, effectively trapping her in place before she had a chance to escape.

"Yes, Amanda," he replied huskily, breathing in the scent of her perfume. "You're right about that. I _do_ have things under control."

Nervously, Amanda licked her lips, and he could feel her body trembling against his. "Right. Well, uh, thanks again for dinner, Lee--" she began.

Burying his face in the crook of her neck, he began a repeat performance of that day at the Lincoln Monument. The fact that they were completely alone, in his apartment, heightened the sensations as he nuzzled and kissed the warm, tantalizing skin of her neck.

Once again, his attentions had the desired effect as he felt her resistance fade away and her body melt into his. Smiling into her neck, he reveled in the knowledge that he was able to make her go weak in the knees. He had to be careful to make sure that his own knees didn't give out, given the fact that his body was trembling as much as hers.

Amanda sighed, and Lee heard her purse hit the floor with a soft thud. He pulled away just enough to see that her head had fallen back as far as it could against the door. Her eyes were closed and her ragged breathing matched his own. Resuming his ministrations, he moved his lips and tongue from her neck to her jaw, and just about came undone when she softly moaned a little "Hmm."

She was holding onto his arms, the sleeves of his shirt bunched up in her hands. "Don't tell me we don't have something here, Amanda," he said gruffly. "You know we do. Tell me I'm not more than a partner to you, not more than a friend, and I'll stop. Tell me."

Her eyes, darkened with passion, opened and she looked at him through lowered lashes. "You don't play fair, Stetson," she managed to say.

"I never have," he agreed, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose.

He cupped her face softly in his hands, and gently rubbed his thumb along her lower lip. He watched in fascination as her eyes glazed over and her lids fell closed, her long, dark lashes fluttering against her cheeks. Moving his face scant inches away from hers, he volleyed his gaze from her lips to her eyes and back again. His other hand slid behind her head and into her silky hair.

It was as though Amanda were in a trance, waiting for the kiss that would inevitably come. It was sweet torture, both for him and for her, to draw it out as long as possible, letting them both have time to fully appreciate how well their bodies fit against one another. Pressing her against the door with his body, he let his imagination run wild.

He continued caressing her bottom lip with his thumb, and then applied light pressure, causing her mouth to open slightly. Moving even closer, he let his lips barely brush hers, tasting wine. He wanted her to be the one to take possession of him, and he knew that if he waited long enough, she would.

She whimpered, and he groaned. Still, he waited, their lips almost but not quite touching. An impatient sigh finally escaped her lips; he smiled in triumph. Any second now she would give in to him and...

She pressed her lips to his, and he felt the thrill shoot through his body. Insistently, she moved her mouth against his, forcing him to open to her. The feeling of her tongue invading his mouth evoked a primal moan that rose from his gut and caught somewhere in the back of his throat. Responding to it, Amanda brought her hands up and placed them behind his neck, drawing him closer as her fingers tangled in his hair.

Amanda exceeded all of Lee's hopes and expectations. Emotions they'd both held in check for so long met and mingled within the confines of the kiss. Lee was completely lost in the moment, awed that a kiss could make him come so undone.

The kiss ended all too soon, but only because they both needed to breathe. They stood, unmoving, for a long moment. Then, reluctantly backing up to release her from her prison between himself and the door, he took her hand and led her easily to the couch. In that moment, he knew he could have led her anywhere in the world and she would have followed. It was a heady, powerful feeling that filled him with amazement.

"Amanda," he said gruffly after they had settled against the cushions. He held one of her hands in his, gently stroking her fingers. "I'm not saying your concerns aren't valid. But we have something special going on here, and I think it would be crazy to let it pass us by. Not to mention impossible."

She eyed him warily. "Why impossible?"

He stroked her cheek softly, marveling at her beauty. "You've made me lose interest in every other woman I've ever known or ever will know. I can't look at any woman without comparing her unfavorably to you. I dream about you all the timeand it's driving me to distraction."

Blushing deeply under his scrutiny, she shook her head in wonder. "All this time, I thought I was the only one. Whenever I thought that maybe your feelings for me were changing, you made sure to point out that we weren't involved and that you weren't attracted to me. I've been fighting against my own emotions for a long time now, and it hasn't gotten any easier. But it... it's gotten to be a habit for me, Lee. I still… I almost don't believe this is happening."

Feeling ashamed of himself, he gazed at her contritely. "Amanda, you have to believe that when I was telling you those things, I half-believed them myself… I was trying to convince myself they were true. But after a while, it got harder and harder to pretend. When Alan Chamberlain was interested in you – and worse, when you were interested in him – I thought I was going to lose you. Then Joe came back, and I was sure I would lose you to _him_. And then Phillip... he was the biggest threat so far. It forced me to realize how stupid I've been to waste all this time denying how I feel about you."

She smiled, but her smile faltered. "Lee, I'm so afraid we may be making a mistake. What if this doesn't work out? You have to admit that it's a possibility, and if it falls apart... what then?" Leaning against him, she laid her head on his shoulder, and with a tremor in her voice, she said, "I'm not asking for a guarantee, but… I need you in my life. You're my best friend. I'm almost willing to forget about all this in order to stay friends. I couldn't bear to lose you."

"Hey," he said gently, "we won't let that happen. No matter what. If we find it's not working out, we'll back-pedal and leave it as being best friends. But Amanda... if you only knew what you do to me... not only physically but emotionally…" He trailed off, suddenly finding it difficult to say such intimate things to her.

She drew back to look at him, the skepticism back in her eyes. "I remember you and Francine calling me suburban frump," she teased, but he could tell she was only half-teasing. Part of her was very serious.

"Francine said that, not me. Early on, I just laughed or agreed with her when she said things like that, because I didn't want to admit that even then I thought you were beautiful," he said honestly, realizing it was true. Wouldn't Francine have had a field day ribbing him if he'd said, 'Actually, I find Amanda rather attractive.'

Amanda eyed him doubtfully but didn't respond.

"I meant what I said, Amanda. I'm not taking no for an answer, so you might as well put me out of my misery and give in," he told her. A slow grin spread to his face and he added, "It's only a matter of time, anyway."

"A matter of--" She gaped at him. "Oh, really?! You've got to be the most arrogant, self-assured--"

He kissed her.

"Conceited…" Amanda stared at his lips. He leaned closer and pulled her bottom lip between his teeth, nipping her briefly before running his tongue along her bottom teeth and then capturing her lips with his own. She mumbled another insult at him but he couldn't make out what it was. It didn't matter; they were all true, or used to be, and she had fallen for him despite it all.

Just as he felt that he could easily spiral out of control, she gently laid a hand against his chest, applying gentle pressure. "Lee?"

"Hmm?" he murmured, distractedly nibbling on her ear.

"Did you say you had crème brulette for dessert?" she asked.

Pulling back to look at her, he took in her disheveled appearance: her tousled hair, her sweater askew, her slightly smeared lipstick. "Crème brulette?" he asked. Dessert of the literal kind was the last thing on his mind right now.

She smiled, quirking an inquisitive eyebrow at him. "Well?"

He frowned slightly. _Was she serious?_ "Well what?"

"The crème brulette, Lee," she said insistently. "The dessert."

Suddenly he understood. "Okay. You want to slow down... take our time. I understand. We_ are_ going a little fast here."

Nodding, she agreed half-heartedly. "Well, yes, that's part of it..."

"What's the other part?" he asked, curious to know every little thing about her.

She blushed, and tried to straighten her hair. "I really do want dessert. I, uh... always crave sweets whenever, ah... when I'm... you know…" Trailing off, she begged him with her eyes to catch on to what she was trying to say.

Realization dawned on Lee and he smiled. "Oh! A little romance brings out your sweet tooth, does it?"

She nodded, biting her lower lip. "Yeah."

He grinned, enjoying her embarrassment. "Well, Amanda, I'd have to say that's really useful information. I'll file that away for future reference."

Her eyes narrowed. "Stetson," she said, her voice carrying a warning.

He looked up, surprised at her stern tone. "What?"

"Dessert. _Now_."

He grinned again, rubbing his hands together. "Ooh, she's bossy, too," he teased as he headed to the kitchen to retrieve the crème brulette and coffee. "I could get used to this."

_THE END _


End file.
